Happy and Sad.

I just finished watching the movie trailer for Speed Racer. I am happy and sad.

I have been looking forward to this for quite a while. Speed Racer was my childhood. I have always loved the Mach 5. But after over analyzing the trailer, I feel sick. At one point there is a 6 on the car. Which means one of 2 things. 1. They got it COMPLTETLY wrong (which I doubt). 2. The Mach 5 gets completely destroyed in the movie, prompting them to make a Mach 6.

Sigh.

It looks fantastic, and the sound of the jump jacks from the trailer brought back a flood of memories of watching the show. There is no doubt I will see it. Racer X's car looks great, Christina Ricci with short black hair - wowza!, and the overstylized look is wonderful.

But the car.... that amazing car is the reason I love the show so much ( I have a model of it in my office right now. Complete with jump jacks and Saw Blades)... I understand the movie is "Speed Racer" and not "Mach 5", but I bet if you ask anyone that watched the show, and loved it, the first thing they will talk about is the car, and not how much they like Speed. But that is just me, I guess.

---end Rant---

An Interesting Circle

In the process of cleaning out Dad's house, and getting rid of things, we found a bunch of Hallmark ornaments Mom had bought and saved... All sorts of different ones, but for some reason, mostly Star Trek ornaments. We have about 25-30 of all different sorts, but 10 of the "First Series". These are selling VERY well on Ebay.

My family does Christmas early. It is something my Mom decided would be best for the family. Instead of splitting holiday with in-laws, and trying to drive from one house to another Christmas day, my immediate family does Christmas 1 or 2 weeks before the 25th. That way we can all be together, and then do what ever we want Christmas day. It's was a great sacrifice for my Mom, but it has really worked out. Every year we head to KC, to my oldest brothers house, and spend the weekend. Since he doesn't have room for all 14 of us, we usually get a hotel room. This was Mom's thing to do, she had a friend that worked for Marriott and could get a good rate. But since she is gone, I did it this year. I found a couple of rooms for my family, and my middle brother's family. I got a pretty good deal, as I got to name my own price, and got pretty close to the deal Mom used to get. ( I would have used her friend, but he no longer works with Marriott). Dad said he would pay me back, if I picked them up. I told him I had money from selling the ornaments, and he was Ok with me using that money.

Here is the curiously funny part. I paid for our Christmas hotel rooms, through Priceline, with money from Star Trek Christmas ornaments. (for those that still don't get it... think about William Shattner's career for a minute.) That made me smile quietly to myself. Thanks Captain James T. Kirk, for everything.

Family Hoedown

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!I have wasted WAY too much time playing with these movies.

Ninja Parade

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again
Thanks, Onion!

The little things

I can't believe it has been a week and a half since Mom died. It was very surreal to watch the rest of the world go about their business, while my world had been full of sadness. I find myself doing OK, but every so often something just hits and I break down again.

Sunday Night my oldest brother headed back to KC, and stopped by the house to drop off some food and stuff. Food people had brought that there was no way Dad could eat all of it, and it would have started to spoil, and a couple of Wal-mart bags. I open up the bags, and inside are a couple of outfits Mom had bought for my girls. I pull them out to show my wife, and we both start to cry. I remember her mentioning that she had bought them something. That kind of thing. I am sure setting up the bench this weekend will be tough, as well as planting the trees Big Dave got for us to remember Mom by.

Dad seems to be doing as well as can be expected. He has had friends make him dinner, or invite him out all this week. Wednesday, he called while we were waiting in the drop off line for Tiny's pre-school. Apparently he has lost his cell phone, as he called me on Mom's. Her picture popped up, and that made me a little sad. We talked for a bit, and then he asked if he could talk to Tiny. Mom and Dad call all time, just wanting to talk to the grandkids... I am used to being second fiddle. I hand the phone to her, and she says "Hi Grandpa!", I can hear him crying through their conversation. She hands the phone back to me, and he is trying his best not to cry while talking to me. It really hurts me to think how sad he must be. I tell him I love him very much, and that we will see him this weekend.

I know going down there this weekend is going to very hard. Tiny will surely ask a few questions that will be pretty tough to handle. Going to try to get some stuff cleaned up, and see what we can do for him. We still have a long way to go.

Saturday

The hardest part was behind me, but today was still going to be very difficult. We got the girls up and dressed, and my Mother-in-law came over about 10am to pick them up for the day. I was very grateful to have this option available to us. Part of me was sad, that the girls weren't there for me to hug, and have around for more support. But the other part of me didn't want to have to try to wrestle a 4 year old, carry a 7 month old, keep track of a diaper bag and everything else involved with them during a very tough time. All in all I think it was best they weren't there. I had a couple of pictures of them with me though, in case I got the opportunity to show them off a bit.

I put on my suit, and my new purple tie, my beautiful bride had a purple top on that matched perfectly, and we headed to the church. Arriving a bit behind schedule, we walk in the back, and are directed to where the rest of my family is waiting. And by family, I mean my brothers, and their family, Patsy and her daughters, and their families, and finally my Aunt Ann. I was thrown for a loop. Ann is my Mom's only sibling. They haven't spoken since their Mom died, 15 years ago. Some long story that I cant even remember. She and her husband, just happened to be in Missouri this weekend for something completely unrelated. They live in Nevada. God surely does work in mysterious ways. My cousin Chris was there as well. I haven't seen him in at least 8 years. We chat for a bit, before Ben tells us that they are ready for the family to be seated.

We walk from our room in the back to the sanctuary, to the first couple of rows of seats. The church is full of people. I look at Mom's closed casket, and it is surrounded with even more flowers and plants than Friday Night. Pastor Todd reads a few verses for us from Psalms, and then they play a nice song that I don't even really hear from my own crying, and focusing on my family around me. The next song is "Somewhere over the rainbow", performed by my oldest niece. I know how hard that had to be for her. I went to a funeral earlier this year where the granddaughters all wrote something about their grandpa, and wanted to read them out loud. Only one out of the 5 made it through it. She did a fantastic job, breaking down near the end. That was Mom's favorite song. The next few songs were performed by a good friend of Mom and Dad, Steve, who played "You are my sunshine." Which was pretty tough for me. The words of that song have a whole different feeling now. After the music was finished, my oldest brother read Mom's obituary, and added a wonderful speech to the end about Mom. Pastor Todd finished the service, and everyone that attended was invited to proceed past the casket one more time.

Once everyone was done, it was just the family left. They opened Mom's casket one last time for us to say good bye. My brother put Mom's Russel-Stovers candy in her pocket. I put some pictures of my girls in there with her so she could have some pictures of her grand kids. She ALWAYS had pictures of her grand kids, and she always will. We said good-bye again.

The church was kind enough to make lunch for us. The service was at Noon, and the graveside wasn't until 4, but it was a 90 minute drive away. I got to visit with my cousin for a bit, and cracked a couple of jokes with people, about getting them more chips and salsa. My folks owned a Mexican restaurant for 13 years, where I waited tables almost every summer. So it was almost a habit for me to ask people if they wanted more chips and salsa ( don't ya hate inside jokes)

My beautiful bride and I headed for the Cemetery, we talked about all the people that were at the funeral, and how great it was to see them. We get to MG about 5 minutes before the rest of the family, and I show Mom's friend, Jackie, where Mom's mom is buried. I see so many people that I know it is over-whelming. Old high school friends, teachers, cousins, and close family friends. I am again reminded of how many people Mom knew and made an impact on. The rest of my family arrives and we follow the casket to the tent. We sit and listen to Pastor Todd talk about the circle of life, and the changing of the seasons.

Then we did some very "Un-funeral" like things... my mom had this tradition of bringing balloons to a funeral. She would pass them out, and then everyone would let them go. Then we watch them go up to heaven. Very moving, and very symbolic. So we passed around about 4 dozen balloons, and Dad let the first one go, followed by the rest of us. We watched them until we couldn't see them any more. About half way through their ascent, a very close friend from KC, Susie started ringing a cowbell, loudly! This is a tradition that stemmed back to my oldest brother playing football, Susie's husband was the coach. The team was the Cowboys, and any time the boys did something good, all the mom's would ring cowbells, ALL the moms... easily 10-15 of them. That cowbell was a tribute from Susie, and it made alot of sense to us, but everyone else looked a bit confused. Lastly, was an idea my oldest brother got from a funeral he attended a few months ago. We passed out sharpie markers, all different colors... and signed Mom's casket with notes and messages and pictures. All of the grand kids swarmed the casket, covering it with messages of love and tears. People wrote poems, and their favorite memories of Mom... it was something I had reservations about before it happened, but was completely behind once I saw what it did. Mom's entire casket was covered with messages from friends and family. Like I said, MG probably hasn't seen a graveside service like that. I had to explain the cowbell about 5 different times afterwards...but I didn't mind.

All of my Uncle Dwight's kids were there, it was really great to see them. I haven't seem them in many many years. Lots of old friends were there: My Boy Scout leader, my math teacher, my Spanish teacher, my High school counselor(a classmate of Mom's), lots of high school friends, not just mine, but Mom and Dad's. (My parents and I, all went to MG high school. Small town story, remember? Odd, but cool). Lots of hugs and talking afterwards. I got to show off my pictures of my girls. Just like Mom would do.

It was done. We all headed back to my parent's house, for dinner. The house was full of people sharing stories about Mom, and laughing with Dad. It was truly a party worthy of Linda Tate.

Goodbye Mom. I love you, I will miss you very much.

Friday

This was the day I was dreading the most. Actually getting to see Mom, was something that kept me from getting much sleep Thursday night. Visitation was at 6pm, and the family viewing was set at 5pm. My Mother-in-law volunteered to watch the girls and bring them down later, so we dropped them off at around 4, and headed down to the church.

The church was nice, and had a message on their marquee about Mom and the service times. There was a HUGE arrangement of HUGE long stemmed roses on the greeting table. They were from her girlfriends from high school. Rhonda, the funeral directors wife/assistant, had put together a wonderful display of the pictures of Mom we had collected. Everything looked great.

It was time for the moment that I had been dreading for days. I walked into the sanctuary and prepared myself to see Mom. I turned the corner and stepped into the room. I was stopped in my tracks by the number of flower arrangements and plants that had been sent and on display (48 all together). Completely spanning the front of a very good sized church. An unbelievable variety of colors and types of flowers... exactly what Mom would have wanted.

I followed Dad up the aisle and choked back the tears the best I could as we got closer to Mom. She looked like she was sleeping. Rhonda had done a great job with her hair and make up. She had a slight pout to her face, as if she was about to cry herself. "Wake up, Mom." Dad said through his tears, and thats all it took to send me into all out crying. I stepped away from the casket, and read some of the tags on the flowers to calm myself down. Old friends from KC, family from MG, high school friends, and business contacts... I was, and still am, amazed at the number of people that Mom made an impact on. I settled down, and was able to stand next to Mom, and say good bye face to face. I adjusted her jewelery a bit, and stepped away to read the other half of the cards.

Just before 6pm, people started coming in to pay their respects to Mom. Neighbors from where Mom and Dad live, salesmen that do buisness with the restaurant, the Mayor (the freakin MAYOR!), past employees... friends, family, and many many others. I was especially touched by the people that came down from O'Reilly, literally for 10 minutes, and then headed back home. There was the Millers from KC, old family friends, who drove down just for the service, and were heading back afterwards. I know I have said it many times, but this kind of thing was just amazing to me. The family lined up next to the casket and greeted and met everyone that came to visit Mom. Some of my co-workers made their way through the line, and I was introducing them to my Dad. Larry Wiles walked up, and I said "Dad, this is my boss, Larry." With out missing a beat, Larry says " I am not his boss, I am his friend." The man truly has a heart of gold. That really meant a lot to me. And I will never call him "My Boss" again. After the line of people finished, Larry pulled me aside and apologized that the department didn't send any flowers, instead they all pitched in and bought me a bench, and a memorial stone for my backyard. I again was dumbfounded. Larry and Charlie, his boss and the Department head, unloaded a decorative concrete bench and memory stone, with a lovely saying engraved in it, into my backyard. " You and the girls can put flowers around it, and just have a place to sit and remember your Mom." AMAZING! I was very deeply moved by this gift.

Big Mike and his wife where there from KC. Mike is the oldest son of Mom and Dad's Best friends from KC, Bill and Heidi (both of whom have passed). The last time I saw Mike was his Dad's funeral. " We gotta stop meeting like this." he says, with a comforting smile.

At about 9pm everyone had come and gone, some came just to say how sorry they were for our loss, and others literally cried at the foot of the casket like it was their own mother. We said our good-byes to the family and my beautiful wife and I made our way home. One very hard part down.

Thursday

Thursday was a very nice day. Friends came in from out of town, and there was an eerie feeling of calm through out the day. Obviously the calm before the storm, as Friday was the visitation, and Saturday was the funeral. I spent all day at my house. Took the munchkin to school, went shopping for a new tie. I wanted to find a purple one, because Mom would have like that. My beautiful wife went through all of our pictures and found some really good ones of Mom, with me or the girls, or just by herself that we could display at the services.

I felt guilty for not going down to be with Dad. But after talking to my brother, it sounded like the house was very full of friends and family. Dad seemed to be doing better, and the house didn't seem to bother him as much. Everyone seemed to be coping with Mom's sudden departure very well.

My 4 year old knew what happened but didn't quite understand what it meant. In the middle of the afternoon, I was reading some e-mails from friends and family offering their condolences, when she comes up, hugs me real big, and says "I'm sorry your Mom is dead." I pick her up, and hug her as tight as I could, and cry "Thanks, Tiny." This is going to be harder than I expected.

Wednesday

I slept like a rock Tuesday night. Woke up at 7:30, and got the munchkin ready, and drove her to preschool at 9. My Dad, brothers, and the rest of the group had a meeting at 9am at the church. They met with Pastor Cecil Todd, who came in the restaurant all the time, and knew Mom pretty well. That made me feel good that some one that knew her was going to be doing the services. I was unable to attend the church meeting, but heard it went really well. The sanctuary holds 400, and we felt that would be plenty.

At noon, I pick up my daughter and take both girls over to my mother-in-laws. My beautiful bride and I head to MG, where Mom and Dad grew up, for a 2pm meeting with the Funeral home. Ben, the funeral director, walks us through everything. My oldest brother has his laptop out with a list of questions that he had been thinking about. There were 8 of us all together, quite an intimidating group, I don't think Ben was ready for that. We answered some questions about Mom for the Obituary. Pat and Jeannie told us (on the side) some things that we would and wouldn't need, and that was greatly appreciated. Dad was having a hard time with all of this, but especially when we had to choose a casket. He had to step outside. I went with him, and we stood out behind the funeral home. Next to us was the church that I used to go to Boy Scouts. Across the street was the little building I had my first job. Dad started talking about he and Mom walking home for lunch everyday, and he even went so far as to describe what Mom was wearing on a typical day. It's kind of strange growing up in the same small town my parents did.

Dad had settled down a bit, and we headed back inside. The group had narrowed it down to 3 choices, and just showed them to Dad. He pointed to one immediately, and that was done. We handed over the clothes we wanted Mom to wear, her make-up, and her jewelery. Mom and Dad had gone shopping the week earlier for something nice for her to wear to Richard's funeral, and that is the outfit Dad thought would be best for her. We picked out a nice guest book, and the design for the memorial program, and that very hard part was done.

Next, we met with the caretaker of the cemetery to pick out a plot for Mom. This was a very hard step for me. Something about Dad standing on the spot where he too would be buried someday, was just really difficult for me to handle. There was a couple of plots very close to my Mom's parents, but that section only allowed for "flat" head stones. Stones that are flush with the ground. Mom really hated that. So we found a couple in the next section over, and one row down. My brother made the deal with the caretaker, as my Dad walked down to visit his parents, a brother, and his step-sisters graves.

Once everything was settled, we went to see my Aunt and Uncle (Dad's Brother) that he hasn't spoken to in over 10 years. Dad knocked on the door, and his brother opened the door. In that moment, everything was forgiven. Ten years of silence over something that ultimately doesn't matter. Both, I think, realized this and they were talking again like nothing ever happened. Telling stories of when they were kids, and young men, until about 7pm.

We had a nice dinner, and drove home. The end of a very tough day.

Tuesday

I was elbowed awake by my beautiful bride, telling me that there is someone ringing our doorbell. I look at the clock, 4:57am. I then hear the doorbell, and my phone ring at the same time... "something is wrong" I think to myself. My wife and I get up and she opens the front door, and there stands my oldest brother from KC. It is a dream like moment, a bizarre juxtaposition of memories. Then I realize, that something BAD has happened. I ask "what's wrong?", and he tells us to sit down. My thoughts go immediately to my father, who has been under alot of stress and pressure lately, and just lost his best friend Monday night. He tells the story of my Mom passing, and both my wife and I are in shock. This turns out to be a running theme for the week.

I get dressed, and hop in my car at 5:15am and follow my brother to my parents house 30 miles away. Every 5 miles I break down crying, and follow that with 3 miles of yelling and punching my steering wheel. It gets worse as we turn onto Dad's street and pull in the driveway. I am met with the image of my Dad standing in his doorway, barely able to stand from crying so much. I give him a huge hug, and cry along with him. My oldest brother joins us. I pull it together long enough to thank Doug, the neighbor, for staying with Dad until we could get there. The man is a saint.

My brother and I start to process what needs to be done, and begin making lists. People to call, things to do, balls that need to get rolling. Mom is everywhere we look... she was a wonderful decorator, and the house is wall to wall reminders of her. I start on the kitchen and the dishes, and getting a load of laundry going. We get Dad settled into a comfortable chair, and encourage him to try and sleep, but to no avail. I start going through Mom's cell phone for numbers of friends to call later, by the time we are done the "Must call" list is 50 people long.

The first one is to a very close family friend, Patsy. Patsy has lost her husband, sister, and mother... and would be able to guide us through this dark forest. Unfortunately my brother cannot bring himself to call her. We call Jeannie, her oldest daughter, and let her pass the news.
Patsy calls us 10 minutes later saying they (her and Jeannie) are on their way down. My brother made almost all of the calls, I made a few, and am glad he was there. I would get the first few words out, and then break down. Something about saying it out loud just made it harder. So I would find names and numbers for him, and answer the house phone when it would ring, and awkwardly answer Mom's Cell phone when it would ring. Some woman from Wal-Mart Pharmacy called looking for Mom, and that had to be the most surreal conversation I have ever had.

We make it through the list, and everyones reaction is the same... they can't believe it. Dad and my oldest brother start to talk about finances, and business stuff. My other brother and I field phone calls, and get Dad's medications lined out. It is about 11am, and I look out the window, and here come Doug the Neighbor, carrying 4 bags of KFC and groceries. The man is just wonderful. Throughout the afternoon more friends show up, and more food is brought. I am awestruck at the outpouring of generosity, and friends. My oldest brother and I go downstairs to get a bigger table for everything, and he is met by Mom's HUGE scrap booking project. There are family pictures everywhere. It is the first time I saw him really crack. I had been down there earlier, so I knew it was coming, and had a hard time with it the first time I went down there.

The day goes on, and we finish calling everyone. Some people hadn't heard about Richard, so it was twice a difficult sometimes. Patsy and Jeannie show up, as well as my brothers' families. My beautiful bride comes down, and brings the girls. The house is chaotic, but full of love.
My wife had taken on the task of telling our 4 year old. Something I don't think I could have done... how do you explain that to someone that young? My daughter had a pretty good grip on it though, "Grandma is in heaven with Jesus? That's good." She didn't really understand the emotional side of it all, but that is probably best.

Dad does pretty good through the day...but little things would cause him to break down. Seeing all of Mom's make-up still out on her side of the vanity. My middle brother had bought some Russell-Stovers chocolates, Mom's favorite, for everyone to share, and a little box to send with Mom, when Dad saw that he lost it.

At about 9pm, my family and I head home to get some rest for Wednesday, and the trip to the funeral home, and church.

A very bad week...

My parents went to visit a very close friend of the family in New Orelans. On the news that he was not doing very good at all. Mom and Dad went down as they did not live him very long to live. The hospital released him to be at home, giving him less than a week. My parents said their good-byes,and came back home Sunday night. Monday evening I got a call from my Mom telling me that our friend had died at about 6pm Monday night.

All day Monday, my Mom had been complaining of a tightness in her chest, and after watching the football game that night, she was feeling worse. Dad suggested taking a bath, as that usually relaxed her. She finished her bath, and was getting ready for bed when she stumbled trying to sit on the bed. Dad came over to help her get her balance. She stood up with his help, and then collapsed on the floor.She had stopped breathing, and her heart also stopped. Dad called 911, and a their neighbor. Doug came over and Dad relayed instructions to Doug until the paramedics arrived. They did all they could, bringing her back once, only to lose her again. 20 minutes later, they stopped. She was gone.

We believe the stress from the restaurant, and the pain of Richard's passing was just too much for her, and literally broke her heart.

Please keep us in your prayers, and especially my Dad. He lost his two best friends in less than 6 hours.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support we have received.

And please, Please call your Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters, and let them know how much you love them...

A very unexpected gift

I enjoy playing computer games. But lately, I have been VERY frustrated with my gaming experience. Playing World of Warcraft, my guild and I are doing some new adventures, and going after some of the bigger bad guys in the game. And my poor, 4 year old machine just can't quite keep up with the demands of 25 people on the screen casting spells, swinging swords, and all the special effects. I was getting MAYBE 5 frames per second during fights. Even with all the Video options set to "LOW". That's BAD! Television is 30 (29.97) frames per second, film is 24 frames per second. It was affecting my reaction times, and my overall usefulness in the game.

I got an message from a guild mate, that plays the same race and class as I do,( he is actually the our guild's Hunter leader) asking about the specs on my machine. I told him, and I could hear him gasp, he lives 1000 miles away. He asks a few more questions about RAM and Video Cards, and I answer them.

I was starting to wonder if my status in the guild may be in jeopardy. One of the questions we ask applicants, is "Do you have a computer capable of handling the game?". And my answer was obviously becoming a No. I have been in this guild since WoW began, was in the guild in Beta testing of WoW, and was even in its predecessor in EverQuest for years. Could they really kick me out? no... but they could choose not to bring me along on raids anymore, and that is just as painful.

Anyway, my guild mate says he may have some spare parts lying around to help my situation. I may have to buy a new Motherboard, and some better memory. I could do that. Sent him my address, and kind of forgot about it. About a week later, I get an email from him. saying that I didn't have to buy anything, he found some stuff that might work, and that I would be getting it in a couple of days. I was pretty excited.

The box arrived last Wednesday, and it was 2'x3'x1' and weighed 25 pounds. I open it up, and my jaw hit the floor. In the box was a 600Watt BFG Power Supply, 2 Gigs of DDR 400 memory, an nVidia 7800GT Graphics Card (with a SLI bridge, so I could buy another one and really beef things up), a BRAND NEW Asus a8n-sli deluxe mother board, and a FX-57 Athlon 64 Chip. Everything but a case, monitor, and a Hard Drive. But I already have those, and they don't effect performance as much as all the other stuff. I was STUNNED! I put it together over the next couple of evenings, and fired WoW for the first time Saturday. After setting all the video options to "HIGH", I was still getting 50fps minimum... sometimes as high as 85! Everything is so smooth now, and beautiful. Its like playing a brand new game. And I went from being at the bottom of the DPS (damage per second) report to Fifth over all... beating out some good Rogues, and mages.

My friend refuses to take anything for his generosity, not even for the cost of shipping. I have it on good authority that he likes Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, so I may be making a trip to the local Cookie Store, and shipping some off. Karma has stepped in as well for him. As this week he got 2 very good pieces of equipment for his character, and the gun that he has been longing for since we started raiding.

Thanks Karma, and thank you Ryan.

New family member

This was supposed to be a Christmas present, but some opportunities present themselves against your schedule. I present to you, Rose-Ariel. She is 5 weeks old, and weighs 1 pound. I love the "M" on her forehead.

Wait a minute...

Isn't this how most Zombie movies start??? Uh-oh...

Mystery illness strikes after meteorite hits Peruvian village

Cats + Ninjas = AWESOME!

More proof that anything plus ninjas = SWEET!

The Gauntlet is thrown...

A few weeks ago I introduced my beautiful wife ( and everyone else ) to Shuffle! A few of you have cursed me for it too. Well, I had not been able to crack the 60k mark for a long time, and my beautiful bride set the House mark at 65k. Then out of the blue, I drop this bomb...

IT IS SOOOO ON!

I have gotten to the point where I have almost mastered the "3v5 face-to-face impossible stage. And during the above game, there was a 2v5 which just got ugly. If I had won that last round, it would have been 1v5, and that's just CRAZY!

It has gotten to the point where I will restart the game if I don't get 1000 pts on the first round, or have 9000+ after the first game. Is there a 12-step program for flash games?

Movie Idea

While playing with my oldest daughter this weekend, she said something that I just can't quit laughing about the more I think about it. We were jumping on the bed, doing karate and wrestling... when all of a sudden she jumps on my back grabs my hair and pulls my head up and yells...

"If you wanna stay on this planet, you better WRESTLE!"

I am thinking of selling the idea to the Hollywood studios... It is going to be the greatest Sci-Fi Action movie ever!!! Imagine, an entire planetary Utopia, the only stipulation to get to stay there is to Wrestle.

-=Movieguy voice=-
"In a perfect world.... one man must wrestle is his past, wrestle his pain, and then... WRESTLE THE WORLD!!! Dick Hardwood is Large McBigHuge, in PILEDRIVER PLANET! (this film has not yet been rated).

It's going to be awesome.

More Obvious News

Rock stars more likely to die prematurely
You mean to tell me that "Live Fast, Die Young" by the Circle Jerks wasn't just a catchy tune, it was a prophecy? Hmmmm... who would have ever put that together. Now if we can just get Britney, Lindsay, and K-Fed to read this.... who am I kidding.... they cant read.

10 years ago...

10 years ago today, my beautiful bride and I went on our first date. After 120 months together, she thinks that she is the lucky one. I have thought about her for 3652 days straight, ( More than that if you count the month it took me to ask her out.) and I am here to tell you that I am the lucky one.

I love you, my Texas Brownie.

On a strange side note, Princess Diana died on our first date. On our second date... Mother Teresa died. We almost called off our third date, for the sake of humanity.

Slammed

Out of the blue, I have become completely buried by projects at work. I am working on a very technical Flash training course at the moment, and as soon as it is done, I have 6 more waiting for me. So this is what Impending Doom feels like.... it's cold and dark here.

If I'm not going to get any work done...

Nobody is! Enjoy, Shuffle!

Video Baby

I bought a new video camera this week, and so far I really love it. It is a MiniDV camera, and it weighs about 1/10 of my old VHS-C camera. The old camera served its purpose very well, but was about 6 years old. I rarely used it, because it was never charged, and didnt hold a charge well when it was. Before our 2nd daughter was born, I tried to get it working better, and it quit completely. So, unfortunately for baby, we have very little video of her first 5 months in the world. Hopefully the ZR-800 will make up for that over the next few years.

Just so you know Consumerreports.org + Epinions.com + Bizrate.com = Good shopping. I don't buy anything without consulting those 3 sites anymore. I saw my camera going on Ebay for about $240 at the low end, and Bizrate found a photo store out of Jersey selling it for $220. So, always look around, as Ebay isnt always the bargain I thought it is...

Posting

While I really like the idea of having a blog, lately I haven't had anything great to talk about. Posting videos always makes me feel like I have cheated, except for the ninja post. I admire people that post to their's everyday, in a since keeping an electronic history of their life. I guess I am stuck in my thinking that I have to have something witty/funny to say before I can post it. I should just jot down my thoughts of the day and move on. I will try that for a while and see how it feels...

Even they thought it was a bad idea.

Violent Femmes embroiled in NY lawsuit

"The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, also accuses Gano of trashing the band's reputation by allowing its signature hit, "Blister in the Sun," to be used in a Wendy's commercial."

The first part (sorta) of the story.

It makes me some what happy that not ALL of them were Corporate Puppets, but on the down side, this will probably tear the band apart if they don't settle things. Maybe not though, The Police played together, and they HATE HATE HATE each other. I just hope they don't take the same path the Talking Heads took.

What a geek believes

I believe that Han shot first. I believe that Ally Sheedy was hotter before Molly Ringwald cleaned her up. I believe in miniatures, models, claymation, and not revealing the shark until you absolutely have to. I believe that George Lucas, for better or for worse, change the way we see the world, each other, and ourselves. And I believe that we will someday reach those stars that he himself made visible. I believe that George Lucas is also a narrow-minded, money-grubbing pig-headed slave to the now, who ought to be locked away from his own creations, lest he do them further harm. I believe that Jean-Luc Picard is the better Starship Captain, but I also believe that James Tiberius Kirk is infinitely cooler. I believe that a child standing in line to buy a book at midnight is fantastic; I believe that reading makes you smart — it’s schools that make you dumb. I believe that any episode of Futurama is better than any program featuring a precocious teenager who’s wise beyond their years. I also believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be the sole exception that proves this rule. I believe that comic books are an art form, and will someday be recognized as such. I believe that good shows die too young; and crap shows last too long. I believe that Eddie Izzard is the funniest man alive, an dI don’t care whether you’ve ever heard of him or not — it’s still true. I believe that a girl who likes movies about zombies is hotter than whoever is on the cover of Maxim this month. I believe that Belloch ate that fly, I swear to God that I heard Luke call Leia “Carrie,” and I believe that Samwise Gamgee never quite got the credit he really deserved. I believe in magic, I believe in dreams, I believe in the power of music, movies, and the untold worlds inside an everyday library card. And I do not believe that geeks will inherit the earth; I believe that we already have. --Rick Emerson, AM970 Portland, OR.

Amen to that, my Geek brother.

756...

Well, he did it. Barry Bonds hit number 756 last night. I have to say, I was very happy. After he hit it, he showed the emotion, and respect of the game that I had been looking for, that I had been hoping for. The celebration with his family, the respect given by Willie Mays, and the fact that Barry actually got a little choked up when Hammerin' Hank's video tape congratulating him was shown. In all the interviews I have read and seen since he is showing his human side again. That is what I was looking for, and now I can cheer for Barry Bonds.

Birthday Festivities

I had a very nice Birthday, thanks for asking. I wasn't too crazy about turning 37. The Late 30's. I have no justifications for acting like I'm 24 anymore. The weekend was very relaxing and fun. Saturday was full of house work, so I wouldn't have to do any on my actual Birthday.

At 4pm, my 4 year old daughter and I headed to 1984. I found out my mad Video Game skills do not impress a 4 year old. She would watch for about 2 minutes before wondering off to an adjacent game. Thus taking some of my concentration away from the game. And while a couple of seconds can be taken on the Elevator level of Donkey Kong to regain the attention of a small child, you try to pull that crap on Wave 15 of Robotron, and you my friend have one less life than you did before. Granted the games are "free play" and it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but when you have become obsessed with getting your name on the High Score Board every time you go, it seriously affects your ability to do so. Finally, she agreed to help me play pinball, she put her fingers on the flipper buttons, and I would push her fingers to activate the buttons. She liked that alot, and launching the ball into the play field was also one of her tasks. We did manage to soundly destroy the High Score on Grand Lizard by 1,200,000 points. We got our button, our free pass for next time, and a sweet new sticker. (Currently affixed to my work monitor).

Sunday, my birthday, I was gently coaxed out of my slumber at 7am by a 45 pound toddler jumping on my belly, and yelling "Happy Birthday, Daddy!". After catching the wind that was knocked out of me, I was met with a lovely assortment of donuts, and chocolate milk. I opened my present of tons of chocolate from Russel Stovers. Later that afternoon, my parents came up from Country Music Hell, and bought us all Ice cream. My beautiful, wonderful bride made me a fantastic dinner, and allowed me to play World of Warcraft from 7pm until Midnight.

***GEEK ALERT **** GEEK ALERT ****
During that 5 hours, my guild and I downed High King Maulgar, his 4 buddies, Gruul the Dragonkiller, Finished up 3 bosses in Karazhan (Attumen the Huntsman, Maiden of Virtue, and Prince Malchezaar) The Prince was kind enough to give me a Birthday present... The Helm of the Fallen Hero, which I quickly cashed in for my first piece of T4 armor Demon Stalker Greathelm So I was a very Happy Dwarf!
*** END GEEK ALERT ****

So, it was a very good day. Lots of relaxing, lots of candy and sweets, lots of love from my family. Maybe 37 isn't all that bad.

Baby Violet

Baby Update... 4 and a half month old drool machine.

Pimp My Video

Ladies and gentlemen... I give you the original video...



And the all NEW PIMPED OUT VERSION.


That is UNCANNY!!!!

Touch the Rainbow!

I am not an avid eater of Skittles candy. It stems from my already being sick the first time I tried them, and puked a rainbow. But when I was shown the following video, I couldn't help but laugh.

glumbert.com - The Modern Day King Midas

I guess thats pretty awesome.

Birthday Bash!

Well, my birthday is less than 2 weeks away. My beautiful bride asked me this morning what I would like to do to celebrate it. So I have been doing some thinking. I really enjoyed what we did last year, which was the subject of my first official post on this blog, going to 1984 arcade. A few years ago, I had a small get together, and had a poker tournament. I was pretty good friends with the "trophy and plaque" department then, and had some custom plaques made for 1st, 2nd and 3rd. They were a big hit, and more coveted than the prize money (in my mind, at least).

While I enjoyed both of those, I was trying to think of something new. But then the thought hit me to sort of combine the two. A Video Game Tournament. Everyone comes to the arcade with me, and we keep track of your best scores of the night, on about 10 games. Come up with some sort of ranking system to determine the winner. That way the wives and/or kids could be part of it too. The poker tournament somehow was a "guy only" thing. It wasn't designed that way, it just worked out that way. I would try to work out some "old school" design for plaques and see if my connections still work. OR..... set it up as a "Beat the Geek" style format. I would play the games and set a score that everyone would have to beat on each game, and then people would get prizes and rewards for "Beating me at my own Game". This would, of course, require me to go to the arcade a few days before hand and see where the bar should be set for each game (double arcade bonus!) You know.... for research purposes.

Been There, Done That

I have often daydreamed about making a list of all the roller coasters in the United States, and then seeing how many I could ride in a year, or if I could ride all of them during my life. I remember Jerry Jacob ( the news anchor that resigned and is becoming a Military Field Medic) taking a couple weeks vacation, and visiting all the Springfields he could. I want to say he made it to 14 of them. I thought that was pretty cool. A friend of mine sent me a link to this guy, and I thought it was worthy of sharing here. 171 Starbucks in 24 hours. Repeating only 6 stores is quite impressive, but damn that's a lot of caffeine.

The World Series of My Wife is Awesome!

My beautiful bride and I are addicted to VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. We are pretty good at it. Admittedly, my bride is better at it than I am. ( She got 9 of 11 on the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210, I got maybe 4) This season, after every new show, you can go online and compete against thousands of other trivia buffs, and try to win $2500. You get 25 questions, miss one and your out. Fastest to answer the 25 wins the dough. Last night, she was one of 11,000 competing. She answered #25 correctly in 4 minutes and change. Only 12 other people, TWELVE!, got all 25 right. So, now she had to wait to see if her time would hold up. Unfortunately, some trivia robot finished all 25 in just under 3 minutes. But my beautiful bride got 6th. 6th out of 11,000. She is wicked smart.

More News from Planet Obvious!

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkey
Looks like my friends over at "The Onion" feel the same way I do, about stupid research.

And not quite along the same lines, but I can't Stop looking at this picture, even though it freaks me out. No so much planet Obvious, as Planet Moron!
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!!! You're going to want to put some peroxide on that.

Thanks Dr. Obvious!

Women drawn to men with muscles

No SH!T?!? Chicks dig good looking muscular men, over us butter trolls? Thanks for the NEWS!

Seriously, this is what Researchers are studying? Did we CURE CANCER?? WHO THE HELL IS GIVING THESE PEOPLE MONEY FOR THEIR WORK??!!??

Hey, I just did a study that shows plants grow faster during the DAY! Give me a GRANT!

BAHHH!!!!!!

And who is the lazy ass reporter that decided this was news???

754...755!...756?

I don't know why, but part of me hopes that when Barry Bonds gets to 754 home runs, that opposing pitchers either intentionally walk him for the rest of the season, or bean him. The man just doesn't seem to have the graciousness that I would like to have in a Major Baseball Record holder. Big Mark had respect for Maris' record, and Sammy seemed to as well. Hank Aaron went through some serious issues with other people not wanting him to break Ruth's 714, but at least that showed that he had a human side to him. I don't care about the "Steroid" allegations either, just show us some emotion over one of the greatest records in sports.

I LIKE what I like

I was recently told my taste in art is too "Kitschy". I wouldn't mind that, but it was the condescending tone that it was said in that bugged me. So what, if I like my Mass Media Andy Warhol art work, my Keith Haring non-controversial prints, my simple primary Mondrian paintings, and the wackyness of Miró. I also think velvet elvis paintings are kinda cool, and giant tapestries of "Dogs Playing Poker" should be publicly displayed in the best of homes. I love movies about Baseball, even though I hardly follow baseball at all (I blame that on being raised a Royals fan. Ah, 1985.) I eat my sandwiches plain, and my hot dogs cold. While I like all the ingredients in a KFC Mashed Potato Bowl, but I will never order one, because I don't like my food all mixed together. I don't mind if they touch, but that bowl has too much intermingling going on.( I don't like my corn getting to 3rd base with my potatoes, if you know what I mean) I don't drink beer, but can tell you blindly the difference between A&W, Barq's and Dad's Root Beers. (IBC is highly overrated, and priced BTW.) I also like my soda a bit flat. It is not uncommon for me to open a bottle, drink a bit, and then put the lid on it and shake it vigorously a few times. I have left entire 2-liter bottles of Root Beer open all night, just to lose most of the carbonation. A hamburger should NEVER cost more than $4, maybe $5 with bacon and cheese ( I am looking at you, Red Robin!) I have learned the ways of charcoal, and regret not learning them sooner. Mayonayse is the devils condiment, followed closely by mustard. and nothing make me happier than a nice bag of Red Hots. But thats just me. If you dont like what I like that is fine, just don't try and tell me in a way that makes it sound like your half-dead Beatles are better than my Still Rockin' Rolling Stones! (ya, I said it. Suck it, Trebeck)

3 words...

What. The. F@&%!!!

I am speechless... absolutely speechless.

Motivation...level... critical

The reason for my lack of posts lately has been my utter lack of motivation to do ANYTHING! I don't want to type, I don't want to do laundry, mow the yard, nothing! It's not that I don't WANT to, it just getting the momentum going to do it. I actually like mowing the yard, but its the weed whacking, and trimming, and all the extra stuff that puts me off about it. Even WoW can't hold my attention lately, unless I have something very specific in mind to do. ( Yeah, I am playing again, and forgot how much I love playing. Thankfully for me, my beautiful bride likes to play too.)

I could post about the wonderful get together my family went to this weekend to see my best friends from high school. But that post would be full of inside jokes, and lots of "I can't believe that was 20 years ago". It was a great time, and really nice to be able to reconnect with people who know all about me, and just laugh.

I could post about how this is one of the biggest movie summers of all time, and I haven't been to see any of the 3's (spiderman, pirates, shrek, oceans) Although, I have promised my beautiful bride I would take her to see 1408. Because we haven't seen a GOOD scary movie in a long time.

I could take the easy way out and post about some of the YouTube videos I have been watching lately. I frequent SomethingAwful quite regularly, and on their forums, someone created a thread for people to just post videos of other people doing AWESOME things. There are some incredible videos out there. Skateboarders, guitar players, video game players... everything! I stayed up until 2am on a couple of nights just watching these people and what they can do.

Since I don't feel like posting anything, I guess I won't.

The little things

I had a very good Father's Day, thanks for asking. My day began with big hugs and kisses from my beautiful bride, and my 4 year old. My 3-month old (ya, 3 month old! jeesh) tried to give me kisses, but more just drooled on my cheek, which still counts. We got up, and got ready for church. My beautiful bride tells me that she will drive today... but instead of driving to church, she surprises the girls and I by taking us to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Mmmmm.... ham and biscuits. Very yummy. My 4-year old hands me my father's day card. The card was very cute, and obviously picked out by her, as it was a purple "My Little Pony" card, with stickers for her inside. The stickers all said "I love Daddy", and "Daddy's little girl" on them, but as long as she was going to get them is what mattered to her. I think I could by a box of Avery Labels, and she would go nuts because "Stickers I can COLOR?!?". The girl loves her stickers. Anyway, the card was cute, and signed from all my girls, but that wasn't the real gift. The thing I enjoyed the most was the envelope the card came in. Plain and white with "D A D" written in little girl letters. I looked at that all day long, and just smiled. I really do love being a D A D.

More Nestle Love

I had a very interesting thing happen to me today. I was out taking pictures for work, and needed gas for my car, and gas for my belly. I stop at a gas station and fill up my gas tank and go inside. Remembering that I have one last free coupon for a Nestle crunch bar in my wallet ( Part one, Part two of how I got the coupons). Grab a soda, and cruise over to the candy aisle, find a Crunch bar and notice that they have some other contest going where you could win a share of 5 million dollars. Go to pay, wait for the guy to call his manager over, get my stuff and leave. Driving back to work, I down my delicious candy bar, and look in the specially marked wrapper... there, on the inside... "Congratulations... you have won a FREE Nestle Crunch Bar" (see details). I smile quietly to myself, again, and contemplate how the simple things in life make me happy.

Celebrity News

I don't like celebrity news. I don't care about it, don't need to know it, and try to avoid it. I don't really care who is dating who, who got drunk and flashed the cameras, or any of that. But I can't stop myself from posting this because it makes me giggle like Dakota Fanning.


(Oh, Nelson. How I love thee.)

MAME Plans

I have been wanting to build a MAME Cabinet for quite some time now. The biggest thing stopping me was the Size of some of the actual cabinets. I don't really want a huge monstrosity of a thing just sitting in the corner of the basement. I have been looking at plans after plans for them, and I think I may have found a nice compact design.

I like it for a few reasons. First, its not very big or intrusive. It could easily be disguised as an end table. Second, it wouldn't require mounting a huge TV or Monitor in the cabinet... the guy that build this one used a 17 monitor. You can get those anywhere, CHEAP!. Third, the realization that I don't need a control panel where 4 players can play at once. I will most likely be playing this by myself, and if friends come over, they will just have to share.

I will change the control panel a bit, I don't need the roller ball. There are only 2 games that I would want the roller ball for anyway, Centipede, and Missile Command. I was never really good enough at either of these games to justify dropping $160, just for the roller ball. I may invest some of that money saved into an extra 4 way stick. Just to get that authentic Pac-man stick feel.(The 8-way joystick gets hung on the diagonals, and screws with your game experience.) I will also increase the number of buttons to accommodate my Asteroids fix. Because playing Asteroids with a Joystick is Arcade Blasphemy.

Night at the Museum

Went to the museum with some friends this weekend... they didn't let us stay long. I don't know Y.

Here he comes...here comes Speed Racer!

My heart is pounding as I type this... I had heard that they are making a live action Speed Racer Movie, and I was hoping that who ever was doing it would NOT screw it up. It turns out the guys making it are the same guys that did the Matrix Trilogy, the Wachowski brothers.

More than anything I hoped that they wouldn't bastardize the car by making it more "modern". Well they did modernize it a bit....
To quote Sam Elliot: "Sweet Mercy!". That is the most awesome use of metal I have ever seen.

Hi, Gene!

My sugar filled world has finally taken its toll on my beautiful bride. After almost 10 years together, she found out this weekend she has a cavity. Her first one, EVER! She is very upset about this, and was almost in tears about the fact when she told her mom about it. Her Mom was not too happy about the whole thing. God forbid, she ever gets a long look in my mouth. I have more porcelain and metal in my mouth than a Chinese History Museum.

Speaking of Zen

I received news today that the Logo from Hell, has officially been chosen. I know many of you have expressed your concern over my well being, and I really appreciated all the kind words, and monetary gifts of consolation you have sent. For those that did not send a gift of any kind... may God have mercy on your souls.

Without further ado, I present the (hopefully) final version of the Logo from Hell:
Wow.... Clean and Simple... whodathunkit. I think I am going to celebrate with a Free Nestle Crunch Bar". (I got my coupons in the mail yesterday!)

Planet Earth

This weekend, I had a chance to watch an AMAZING show on the Discovery Channel. It is called Planet Earth .

Quite possibly the most amazing show I have seen in a long time. The quality and unbelievable footage that they capture and discuss is truly awe inspiring. As I was watching this show, I couldn't believe what they were showing me was part of THIS world. It really gave me a new view and perspective about this rock we live on. And unbelievable facts.... like Krill, a shrimp like creature 1-2 cm in length, make up the largest population of creature by weight on the planet. An estimated 200,000,000 TONS of them.

If you have the Discovery Channel, I HIGHLY recommend catching this show... or head over to NetFlix and put it in your queue. You will not be disappointed.

It got me thinking about everything that happens on this planet, and I remembered something I saw a few years ago, that I enjoyed. and I will share it with you now.

In 1989 both Voyager spacecraft had passed Neptune and Pluto. Carl Sagan wanted one last picture of Earth from "a hundred thousand times" as far away than the famous shots of Earth taken by astronauts from the moon during the Apollo series.

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. --Carl Sagan.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, (as Jon Stewart would say) "is your moment of Zen."

Art and Math

I love Art, and I also love Math. It is a very odd combo. So, it goes with out saying that I am a very technical artist, and not such a creative, free form type artist.

I remember one of the painting classes I had in college, the "professor" came over to see my work, and immediately asked if I was a graphic designer. He could tell by the way I was painting, that I was a "graphic designer" and not an "graphic artist". That has always stuck with me, that and the image of him doing interpretive dance to the music he would play while we were painting still lifes.

Some of my favorite artist are Mondrian, and Calder. The clean lines, the colors, and delicate balance of the work. If you have ever tried to build a mobile on a larger scale than construction paper, string and paper clips, you know the unbelievable amount of work it takes to build a basic mobile, let alone something that appears to defy the laws of balance and gravity.

I like my technical art... so years ago when I stumbled upon David C. Roy, my jaw fell to the floor. I have examined and studied these pieces and cannot, for the life of me, figure out the "drive" mechanism. I have the book he suggests looking at, and examined some of the pieces in person (after walking 6 blocks out of my way when I was in Chicago, just to see a gallery that had some of his work). And I still can't quite wrap my mind around the "escapement" part of the pieces. Let alone the clutch and drive systems that have to be used on the "show" parts of the works.

So, Mr. Roy, if you ever read this, please share your secrets with me, and know that I am doing everything I can to get enough money to buy one of your masterpieces.

Really?!?

Welcome to the next level of wasting money! Should have used some of the money to fix the rear axle... as it is obviously broken.
I can only hope that the car floats, and that is how he "paddles" the car across water.

WERD!

Commercials

Having worked in the video production field for about 10 years, I can honestly say " I like commercials." Well... wait... let's rephrase that "I like GOOD commercials." Lately the people that do the Geiko (caveman), and the Target ads are really putting out some quality work. I also like the new emerging trend of actually telling us what quirky, cool song you are using. The current favorite in our house happens to be a Burger King spot for "Chicken Fries"

My beautiful bride, and I must have watched it 5 times the first time we saw it... it currently is DVR'd and we watch it every other day or so. Think about that... a commercial so good, people actually keep it and watch it at will... granted, I have yet to go buy any Chicken Fries, but I know about them.

I really love "local" commercials. Commercials that were obviously made for about $100 bucks. These were my favorite clients when I worked at the TV station. With a budget of $100 or so, usually meant I didnt do much graphic work for them (other than a logo or something), but I was always impressed with what Dave, Brett, Charlie, and the Jeffs could come up with. People would put their kids in the commercial, their dogs, some legends tell of mistresses, and such. They always had a great "catch phrase" as well. I remember a pawn shop called "#1 Pawn". Their phrase was " We make everyone else look like #2." AWESOME! The guy that owned the place was a piece of work as well. He would always be holding huge fans of $100 bills, and have guns hanging off of him in the commercials. He would invite people down to see what kind of deal his daughters could make for you. And his daughters could beat down most of the guys that came in the joint. Think Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Think the Bartender from Shrek 2. So much fun.

Watching TV last night I see a commercial for "Nutrisystems" diet program. In this spot, they actually say the line "If you can eat, you can lose weight." My brain had a stroke right then and there. What kind of retarded ass thinking is that??? You know, I am pretty sure if you CAN'T eat you will lose weight as well. That's like saying "If you can Breathe, you can quit smoking." I realize they are saying "Everyone can do it", but it just sounded dumb.

New Music

I really need to find some new music. I am VERY tired of the radio stations here. My iTunes library desperately need some new blood. Even my Favorite Mix CDs aren't doing it for me any more.

I checked out Pandora.com the other day and and there were some promising leads coming from that. Pandora is a music "finder". You tell it what you like and it plays songs it thinks you would enjoy. You can tell it you don't like a selection and it will adjust its criteria for picking songs. Not too bad, but a bit more hassle than its worth.

I need some new stuff. I want to find a new They Might Be Giants. Back in my early 20's I could listen to TMBG non stop 24/7/365. Mix in some Violent Femmes, and a splash of thrash punk, maybe some Skateboarding anthems, a smattering of witty writing, and fun lyrics and I was a happy guy. Now, I am having problems finding the music I want to listen to. I found some Modest Mouse stuff from Pandora, and I really enjoy it.

So, if anyone reading this has some music that fits this area, let me know. I will try them out and maybe get out of this musical rut I am in.

Whee....
More Logo from Hell stuff today!

Perspective views

Putting things into perspective can really change the way I think about stuff. I currently weigh 292 pounds. I would like to weigh under 250. That is 42 pounds... OK.. fine... that's just a number. Now to put that number in perspective... my 4-year old weighs 42 pounds. The fact that I will lose the equivalent of a small child from my body, blows my mind. I was thinking about this the other night when I had to carry her from her car seat to her bed, as she was passed out from losing the sugar buzz Grandma gave her. Carry her... through the garage, up 2 flights of stairs, and down the hall, and then gently lay her down with out waking her up. Something in my head said... "Hey! You feel this! This is how much candy, soda, and rice krispy treats you are packing away." So, I guess I am going to try and give up my beloved snacks, and get outside a little more, and see if I can lose my toddler of a belly.

Return of the Logo from Hell

IT'S BA-A-A-ACK!

Yesterday I was "officially" (Duane had tipped me off a week ago, but I blanked that out of my memory) informed that the "Logo from Hell" (part 1 of the ordeal) has to be redone. Apparently, everyone on the committee for this project had signed off on it, except for one of the co-presidents. And since he didn't care for the logo, I have to redo it. There are a number of rants I could go off on here.

Rant 1 : The "All or Nothing" approach to approval. One person (granted, it was the co-pres of the company) doesn't like the logo, and everyone else's opinion gets thrown out the window. Why is there a committee then?

Rant 2 : Why is one of the PRESIDENTS of a LARGE company making this decision. Why are there 7 layers of management then??? I hate to think that EVERY decision has to go through the EXECUTIVE committee. Those poor people must not get anything else done.

Rant 3 : I finished that project in January. JANUARY! Its almost MAY! It has been floating around for 3 months in limbo???

Rant 4 : Logo design is a tricky beast to start with. But a general rule is: Simple = Better. This logo has no less than 6 elements. Company Logo, PSP, The Main Thing, 3 other text elements, and then something to tie them all together. The feedback I got was to make the tire look like is was spinning out, or torque-ing. Great idea... add more elements.

Rant 5 : The complete lack of direction. " I don't know what I want, but I know I don't like that...just give me 5 or 6 more ideas."

(deep breath) Ok... better now.... I hope my coupons for free candy get here soon... I need a fix.

Stay tuned to see what a designer pushed to the brink of insanity can appease the masses (or co-pres) with.

$11 of Awesome!

God I love this show!

Too Much TV

Last night my beautiful wife and I killed Jack Bauer. We made the decision to stop watching 24, frankly because we were bored with it. After they found the suitcase nukes, I had closure. I could care less about Audrey. But the plot isn't what killed Agent Bauer for us. Its the fact that other shows have stepped their game up SOOOO much, that 24 is just dull now. Between Heroes coming back, and Lost pushing back into the AWESOME level, plus we started watching Drive with our FireFly Captain Nathan Fillion. Its a fun show, some puzzles for me to solve and a few sweet cars to drool over. Nice fun show. Add to that mix The Office, Earl, 30 Rock, Idol, Mythbusters, House, Shark, CSI, and Top Model. TV is really good lately! Now if you excuse me I have to go upgrade my DVR, and wipe off about 60 hours of space for next weeks shows.

Nestle Responds...

I received an email from a very nice woman with the Nestle Corporation yesterday. It was about the note I had sent them concerning my winning wrapper. The note was very nice and explained that the Certified letter, and Return Receipt procedure were there MORE for the 1st and 2nd prize winners, prizes worth $77, and $30 respectively. They also informed me that I only needed to send the 3x5 card, and the wrapper for my 3rd prize claim. I was satisfied with that, and felt a little bad I hadn't considered the procedure was for the protection of the winner's of the other prizes.

I get home last night, and check my Snail mail, and there is a letter from Nestle in there, as well. It was from the same woman that sent the email. It thanked me for taking the time to respond and inform them about my concerns. Included with the letter was a coupon... for one (1) free candy bar. I smiled quietly to myself as Balance was restored to the universe.

What a difference 15 years makes.

This past weekend I stayed up until 2 am every night, had some 3 ounce drinks with friends, tried to get a cute girl to go to bed, and got puked on.

15 years ago, that description would have followed "I went to a few bars...", but now that description follows "I have a one month old...". The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I'M A WINNER! (or am I?)

I just got back from a trip to the vending machine. I bought a Nestle Crunch with Caramel. I love Crunch bars... mmmmm.... anyway... I open it up to enjoy its crunchy goodness, and notice the inside of the wrapper says this:

"Congratulations! You're a Third Prize Winner! You've just won two (2) NESTLE singles candy bars."

"Cool!" I think to myself, and proceed to devour its chocolaty tastiness. I go to their website to see what the odds were of winning said prize. I am weird about odds like that. According to nestle-americanidolpromo.com, 3rd Prize odds of winning are 1 in 20. with a ARV of $1.59. I proceed to read the rest of the wrapper telling me how to claim my "Major Award". It reads as follows:

"No Purchase Necessary. To claim instant win prize: Winner must mail original game wrapper along with their name, address, and daytime phone number on a 3x5 card, by certified or registered mail, return receipt requested to: (Nestle Address)."

Here is where I call "FOUL!". I go to the post office's website to see how much it costs to send certified or registered mail... Certified: Fee in addition to postage—$2.40. Return Receipt: Requested at time of mailing (receive electronically)—$1.35.

So, for $4.12 (with postage) I can get my two (2) "FREE" Candy bars, valued at $1.59. At that price I can go back to the vending machine and buy 6 more candy bars. And not have to wait the 6-8 weeks for delivery of my coupon, driving to a store, stand in line with my two (2) free candy bars and coupon, suffer the cashier calling her manager over to talk about how to handle the coupon, and then drive back home.

I am debating writing Nestle a nasty letter explaining the situation, and seeing if I can get a better deal from them. Don't offer the fat kid "free" chocolate. unless you are willing to back that offer up.

Nestle Responds

I LOVE this country!

While walking through the break room at work today, it must has been a slow news day. Two Fox News anchors were talking with a representative from KFC, Inc. Apparently, KFC has offered American Idol contestant, Sanjaya $5000 to shave "KFC" into the hair on the back of his head. KFC better watch out... they are treading into PalaceCasino.com territory. Only in America, my friend.

The girls

Just wanted to share this picture from Easter.

Bad Juju

Don't know what it is, but I came to work this morning, and my office equipment is boycotting me. ALL of it. My PC wont connect to my Mac, or the net. My Mac wont run the diagnostic programs I want it to, the DVD Duplicator (which is ususally rock solid) has had to be restarted twice, and created 11 coasters at once. ( The previous 900 copies had no coasters.) The DVD printer, despite saying full on ink, is refusing to print a decent label on my discs. And running the "Clean cartridge" utility 3 times hasnt fixed the situation at all. It's going to be a tough day at work today...

A pun is a rare medium well-done.

I love puns. The worse they are, the more I love them. Real Groaners.

I did a diorama once of Mattel dolls having a fight in the checkout lane at Safeway. I called it the "Barbie Queue Beef".


There was a monastery that was a little run down, so the brothers decided they'd do a fundraiser to earn some cash to fix it up. After some debate, they finally settled on selling flowers, as it was a nice, peaceful thing to sell. They head out, and set up a stall in the marketplace, and business is going well.

Unfortunately, they were just a few doors down from a flower shop, and the proprietor was just not making any money because of them. Thus, he went to talk to the monks, and asked them to do something else, as his livelihood was being threatened. The brothers refused, stating they'd put everything they had into this venture.

The shopkeeper went home, and called up Hugh McTaggert, the roughest, toughest, meanest thug in town, and paid him to go "talk" to the monks. McTaggert shows up at the monk's flower stall, and proceeds to trash it, beating up several of the brothers while he's at it. When he's done, he says "If you EVER set up a flower stall again, I'll come back, and it'll be worse next time!" The monks scurried back to their monastery and found something else to do.

The moral? Hugh - and only Hugh - can prevent florist friars.

(my personal favorite)
There was a pun contest. The max number of entries was ten. I decided to enter ten puns into the contest. I expected one of the puns to win, but no pun in ten did.

Thanks, goons.

Little known fact...

Every so often I get an e-mail from someone that wants me to answer 50 questions about myself, and send it back. The idea being that you might learn something about a friend you didn't know before. I don't mind answering them, but I like to throw a curve ball every so often. Recently, one of my nieces sent me one of these lists and one of the questions was "How many tattoos do you have?". I answered "One." I then pictured the scene in my head of her reading that, running to my brother and asking "Did YOU know HE has a tattoo?". A conversation would be had, and then later in casual conversation with Mom, my brother would ask about my tattoo. This would immediately cause her to call me and ask about it. To which I would reply " Yeah, I have a tattoo, it is of an upside down duck with a beach ball, on my left bicep." Screaming would follow, and then I would explain that if she didn't like it, I would take it off. As it was put there by my 3 yr old. But, either my niece wasn't phased by the fact that I had tattoo, or I imagine things way more than I should, because nothing happened.

ANYWAY... I got another list of questions the other day, and a question was on this one that I hadn't seen on others. It was "What is something that most people don't know about you?". This one made me smile, because I have a doosie. And I love sharing it when I can. Here it is:

I have over 150 Bungee Jumps under my belt.

When I was 22, I saw an ad in the paper looking for "Thrill Seekers" for a new attraction in Country Music Hell. They were building a Bungee Tower, and needed people to work there. Being the crazy, fearless and 22, I went and applied. (Granted I was applying more for the Cashier part of the business, as I had been doing payroll, books, and deposits for my parents restaurant, but I applied.) A week later I get a call telling me to come in for an interview. I show up, and am surrounded by "extreme" types of people. People that LOOKED like they could be Lifeguards, Surfers, Aerobic Instructors... you get the idea. Lots of good looking, tan, thin people. The first question they asked in the interview is " Are you afraid of heights?" WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY "YES"??? That would be an instant disqualifier if you ask me. Which they did... so I guess its not as crazy as it first sounded. Even though, I was fairly afraid of Heights, let alone jumping off of them, I said "No". During the interview, I was asked alot of questions about my cash handling experiences. My inside track had paid off, as one week later I receive another call asking if I would like to be part of the team. I accepted their challenge.

A couple of days later, I go to attend a one week "orientation". A VERY tan, hip, California-type guy was leading the training. The first words out of his mouth were " OK, let's get this out of the way first. We are doing nothing today, but jumping off that tower." I became more pale than I already was. Thankfully they were going by weight. Tipping the scale at 235 (Max for jumping was 240.), meant I was going to be one of the last to go. Which was good, I could see how things worked, and listen and talk to other that had gone, and build up my nerve. I was starting to get excited about it... that is until they called my Group. I went from "more pale" to "semi-transparent."

I never measured the tower in the time that I worked there, but I would guess it at about 80-100 feet. Not a very big bungee jump, but still enough to get the point across. I slowly start my way up the stairs of the tower. I got up about half way before the butterflies in my stomach realize what was going on. When I reached the top, it was fairly obvious by the way I was bear hugging the posts, that I had lied about my fear of heights. I slowly made my way out to the jump platform. The 20x30 foot safety air bag that looked huge on the ground was nowhere near as big from up there. They hooked the bungee cord to my harnesses. The tower employed an umbilical attach to the cord, as opposed to the more commonly seen Ankle attach. The cord (and myself) was protected by a 6 foot foam enclosure that kept the cord from tangling near you, and prevented it from "rope burning" you as you fell. I stepped out to the jump platform. My knees go weak, my heart pumps so hard, I can hear my pulse. They obviously could see how scared I was, and told me that it is easier to fall backward than jump forward. As the view would be that of the tower going away from me, instead of the ground rushing toward me. I agree, and backed up to the edge. I look down between my heels and see nothing for 100 feet. I have a death grip on the hand rails. After 2 minutes (seemed like an hour) of calming me down, Johnny California counts down " 3...2...1...JUMP!" My brain tells my hands to let go, but my hands respond with a few choice curse words and a petition from the other body parts, that they in fact aren't crazy about this idea anymore. He tells me to let go, and I tell him "I did". I start laughing. Which is something apparently I will do, when I am about to die. Johnny counts again, and I wrap both arms around the foam pad protecting the cord. " 3...2...1..."

I didn't so much "fall" backwards, as my legs went limp, and I collapsed backwards. I was falling. Falling fast. But felt no resistance from the cord. Still falling, and still no resistance. I then made the very manly decision to "Scream like a big, fat woman". Not a yell like "This is AWESOME!", but a Scream like "I may die". Then.... resistance... and slowing... and then I stopped. I open my eyes and look around. I am 2 feet from the top of the air bag. Just hanging there. I look around and see everyone laughing, and I think to myself "I'm alive." Apparently the neurons that form the words "I'm alive" also psychically make bungee cords retract. Because at that second... I fell up. That is the best and most descriptive way I have for that sensation... Falling Up.

I shoot 70 feet into the sky, and am weightless for a couple of seconds... it is truly an amazing feeling. I then proceed to laugh, whoop, holler, yell, and laugh some more, as I bounce 3 more times. Everyone watching is laughing and yelling along with me. Johnny California pushes a lever, and I drop from about 20 feet into the air bag. I cannot stop laughing, or shaking for that matter. The ground crew come to help me off the bag. I cannot stand up. SO MUCH adrenalin is going through my body, I can do nothing but shake and laugh. I don't think I ate for a day and a half, my body just lived off adrenalin during that time. I remember the owners of the place coming over to me, with big smiles on their faces. " Ready to go again?," they asked. "HELL, YES!" I responded, as I collapsed to the ground, vibrating.

During the time I worked there, I logged over 150 jumps. I did 6 in less than an hour one day, to help train a new "Jump Master" ( The name of the job Johnny California was doing). I got to the point where I was doing double back flips off the platform, and quad front flips on the first rebound. To this day, my calves are sculpted and hard as rocks. Not one day went by that I didn't have to go up (and sometimes down) the 10 stories of stairs to reach the top of the tower, at least once. I never called working there "work", I always said " I am going to Bungee ".

Probably the best job (as far as fun) I have ever had.

I'm Confused.

Is The Gap selling Men's Breakaway Khakis? or Men's pants for Women?

Time travel invented

Ladies and Gentlemen, mark you calenders... Time travel will be available for the world on Monday, January 18th, 2038. I know this, because my spam mail box is full of mail from that day. Something big happens in the world on that Monday. Something so huge that it allows people to try and sell me things 31 years from now. What disappoints me though, is the fact that they aren't trying to sell me things from the future. Some of them want me to meet local single girls and "have a good time". So, maybe, when I am 68, I become some super famous multi-trillionaire, and people are trying to set me up with their parents/grandparents to ensure their finacial security in the future... Yes, that has to be it. I become so rich in the future that people are going back in time to sell me things now, that I will remember their product and invest my trillions of dollars with them in the future. That is the only logical reason, that or its just a computer glitch.