Tuesday

I was elbowed awake by my beautiful bride, telling me that there is someone ringing our doorbell. I look at the clock, 4:57am. I then hear the doorbell, and my phone ring at the same time... "something is wrong" I think to myself. My wife and I get up and she opens the front door, and there stands my oldest brother from KC. It is a dream like moment, a bizarre juxtaposition of memories. Then I realize, that something BAD has happened. I ask "what's wrong?", and he tells us to sit down. My thoughts go immediately to my father, who has been under alot of stress and pressure lately, and just lost his best friend Monday night. He tells the story of my Mom passing, and both my wife and I are in shock. This turns out to be a running theme for the week.

I get dressed, and hop in my car at 5:15am and follow my brother to my parents house 30 miles away. Every 5 miles I break down crying, and follow that with 3 miles of yelling and punching my steering wheel. It gets worse as we turn onto Dad's street and pull in the driveway. I am met with the image of my Dad standing in his doorway, barely able to stand from crying so much. I give him a huge hug, and cry along with him. My oldest brother joins us. I pull it together long enough to thank Doug, the neighbor, for staying with Dad until we could get there. The man is a saint.

My brother and I start to process what needs to be done, and begin making lists. People to call, things to do, balls that need to get rolling. Mom is everywhere we look... she was a wonderful decorator, and the house is wall to wall reminders of her. I start on the kitchen and the dishes, and getting a load of laundry going. We get Dad settled into a comfortable chair, and encourage him to try and sleep, but to no avail. I start going through Mom's cell phone for numbers of friends to call later, by the time we are done the "Must call" list is 50 people long.

The first one is to a very close family friend, Patsy. Patsy has lost her husband, sister, and mother... and would be able to guide us through this dark forest. Unfortunately my brother cannot bring himself to call her. We call Jeannie, her oldest daughter, and let her pass the news.
Patsy calls us 10 minutes later saying they (her and Jeannie) are on their way down. My brother made almost all of the calls, I made a few, and am glad he was there. I would get the first few words out, and then break down. Something about saying it out loud just made it harder. So I would find names and numbers for him, and answer the house phone when it would ring, and awkwardly answer Mom's Cell phone when it would ring. Some woman from Wal-Mart Pharmacy called looking for Mom, and that had to be the most surreal conversation I have ever had.

We make it through the list, and everyones reaction is the same... they can't believe it. Dad and my oldest brother start to talk about finances, and business stuff. My other brother and I field phone calls, and get Dad's medications lined out. It is about 11am, and I look out the window, and here come Doug the Neighbor, carrying 4 bags of KFC and groceries. The man is just wonderful. Throughout the afternoon more friends show up, and more food is brought. I am awestruck at the outpouring of generosity, and friends. My oldest brother and I go downstairs to get a bigger table for everything, and he is met by Mom's HUGE scrap booking project. There are family pictures everywhere. It is the first time I saw him really crack. I had been down there earlier, so I knew it was coming, and had a hard time with it the first time I went down there.

The day goes on, and we finish calling everyone. Some people hadn't heard about Richard, so it was twice a difficult sometimes. Patsy and Jeannie show up, as well as my brothers' families. My beautiful bride comes down, and brings the girls. The house is chaotic, but full of love.
My wife had taken on the task of telling our 4 year old. Something I don't think I could have done... how do you explain that to someone that young? My daughter had a pretty good grip on it though, "Grandma is in heaven with Jesus? That's good." She didn't really understand the emotional side of it all, but that is probably best.

Dad does pretty good through the day...but little things would cause him to break down. Seeing all of Mom's make-up still out on her side of the vanity. My middle brother had bought some Russell-Stovers chocolates, Mom's favorite, for everyone to share, and a little box to send with Mom, when Dad saw that he lost it.

At about 9pm, my family and I head home to get some rest for Wednesday, and the trip to the funeral home, and church.