A pun is a rare medium well-done.

I love puns. The worse they are, the more I love them. Real Groaners.

I did a diorama once of Mattel dolls having a fight in the checkout lane at Safeway. I called it the "Barbie Queue Beef".


There was a monastery that was a little run down, so the brothers decided they'd do a fundraiser to earn some cash to fix it up. After some debate, they finally settled on selling flowers, as it was a nice, peaceful thing to sell. They head out, and set up a stall in the marketplace, and business is going well.

Unfortunately, they were just a few doors down from a flower shop, and the proprietor was just not making any money because of them. Thus, he went to talk to the monks, and asked them to do something else, as his livelihood was being threatened. The brothers refused, stating they'd put everything they had into this venture.

The shopkeeper went home, and called up Hugh McTaggert, the roughest, toughest, meanest thug in town, and paid him to go "talk" to the monks. McTaggert shows up at the monk's flower stall, and proceeds to trash it, beating up several of the brothers while he's at it. When he's done, he says "If you EVER set up a flower stall again, I'll come back, and it'll be worse next time!" The monks scurried back to their monastery and found something else to do.

The moral? Hugh - and only Hugh - can prevent florist friars.

(my personal favorite)
There was a pun contest. The max number of entries was ten. I decided to enter ten puns into the contest. I expected one of the puns to win, but no pun in ten did.

Thanks, goons.