Monday, April 30, 2007

Perspective views

Putting things into perspective can really change the way I think about stuff. I currently weigh 292 pounds. I would like to weigh under 250. That is 42 pounds... OK.. fine... that's just a number. Now to put that number in perspective... my 4-year old weighs 42 pounds. The fact that I will lose the equivalent of a small child from my body, blows my mind. I was thinking about this the other night when I had to carry her from her car seat to her bed, as she was passed out from losing the sugar buzz Grandma gave her. Carry her... through the garage, up 2 flights of stairs, and down the hall, and then gently lay her down with out waking her up. Something in my head said... "Hey! You feel this! This is how much candy, soda, and rice krispy treats you are packing away." So, I guess I am going to try and give up my beloved snacks, and get outside a little more, and see if I can lose my toddler of a belly.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Return of the Logo from Hell

IT'S BA-A-A-ACK!

Yesterday I was "officially" (Duane had tipped me off a week ago, but I blanked that out of my memory) informed that the "Logo from Hell" (part 1 of the ordeal) has to be redone. Apparently, everyone on the committee for this project had signed off on it, except for one of the co-presidents. And since he didn't care for the logo, I have to redo it. There are a number of rants I could go off on here.

Rant 1 : The "All or Nothing" approach to approval. One person (granted, it was the co-pres of the company) doesn't like the logo, and everyone else's opinion gets thrown out the window. Why is there a committee then?

Rant 2 : Why is one of the PRESIDENTS of a LARGE company making this decision. Why are there 7 layers of management then??? I hate to think that EVERY decision has to go through the EXECUTIVE committee. Those poor people must not get anything else done.

Rant 3 : I finished that project in January. JANUARY! Its almost MAY! It has been floating around for 3 months in limbo???

Rant 4 : Logo design is a tricky beast to start with. But a general rule is: Simple = Better. This logo has no less than 6 elements. Company Logo, PSP, The Main Thing, 3 other text elements, and then something to tie them all together. The feedback I got was to make the tire look like is was spinning out, or torque-ing. Great idea... add more elements.

Rant 5 : The complete lack of direction. " I don't know what I want, but I know I don't like that...just give me 5 or 6 more ideas."

(deep breath) Ok... better now.... I hope my coupons for free candy get here soon... I need a fix.

Stay tuned to see what a designer pushed to the brink of insanity can appease the masses (or co-pres) with.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

$11 of Awesome!


God I love this show!

Too Much TV

Last night my beautiful wife and I killed Jack Bauer. We made the decision to stop watching 24, frankly because we were bored with it. After they found the suitcase nukes, I had closure. I could care less about Audrey. But the plot isn't what killed Agent Bauer for us. Its the fact that other shows have stepped their game up SOOOO much, that 24 is just dull now. Between Heroes coming back, and Lost pushing back into the AWESOME level, plus we started watching Drive with our FireFly Captain Nathan Fillion. Its a fun show, some puzzles for me to solve and a few sweet cars to drool over. Nice fun show. Add to that mix The Office, Earl, 30 Rock, Idol, Mythbusters, House, Shark, CSI, and Top Model. TV is really good lately! Now if you excuse me I have to go upgrade my DVR, and wipe off about 60 hours of space for next weeks shows.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Nestle Responds...

I received an email from a very nice woman with the Nestle Corporation yesterday. It was about the note I had sent them concerning my winning wrapper. The note was very nice and explained that the Certified letter, and Return Receipt procedure were there MORE for the 1st and 2nd prize winners, prizes worth $77, and $30 respectively. They also informed me that I only needed to send the 3x5 card, and the wrapper for my 3rd prize claim. I was satisfied with that, and felt a little bad I hadn't considered the procedure was for the protection of the winner's of the other prizes.

I get home last night, and check my Snail mail, and there is a letter from Nestle in there, as well. It was from the same woman that sent the email. It thanked me for taking the time to respond and inform them about my concerns. Included with the letter was a coupon... for one (1) free candy bar. I smiled quietly to myself as Balance was restored to the universe.

Monday, April 16, 2007

What a difference 15 years makes.

This past weekend I stayed up until 2 am every night, had some 3 ounce drinks with friends, tried to get a cute girl to go to bed, and got puked on.

15 years ago, that description would have followed "I went to a few bars...", but now that description follows "I have a one month old...". The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I'M A WINNER! (or am I?)

I just got back from a trip to the vending machine. I bought a Nestle Crunch with Caramel. I love Crunch bars... mmmmm.... anyway... I open it up to enjoy its crunchy goodness, and notice the inside of the wrapper says this:

"Congratulations! You're a Third Prize Winner! You've just won two (2) NESTLE singles candy bars."

"Cool!" I think to myself, and proceed to devour its chocolaty tastiness. I go to their website to see what the odds were of winning said prize. I am weird about odds like that. According to nestle-americanidolpromo.com, 3rd Prize odds of winning are 1 in 20. with a ARV of $1.59. I proceed to read the rest of the wrapper telling me how to claim my "Major Award". It reads as follows:

"No Purchase Necessary. To claim instant win prize: Winner must mail original game wrapper along with their name, address, and daytime phone number on a 3x5 card, by certified or registered mail, return receipt requested to: (Nestle Address)."

Here is where I call "FOUL!". I go to the post office's website to see how much it costs to send certified or registered mail... Certified: Fee in addition to postage—$2.40. Return Receipt: Requested at time of mailing (receive electronically)—$1.35.

So, for $4.12 (with postage) I can get my two (2) "FREE" Candy bars, valued at $1.59. At that price I can go back to the vending machine and buy 6 more candy bars. And not have to wait the 6-8 weeks for delivery of my coupon, driving to a store, stand in line with my two (2) free candy bars and coupon, suffer the cashier calling her manager over to talk about how to handle the coupon, and then drive back home.

I am debating writing Nestle a nasty letter explaining the situation, and seeing if I can get a better deal from them. Don't offer the fat kid "free" chocolate. unless you are willing to back that offer up.

Nestle Responds

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I LOVE this country!

While walking through the break room at work today, it must has been a slow news day. Two Fox News anchors were talking with a representative from KFC, Inc. Apparently, KFC has offered American Idol contestant, Sanjaya $5000 to shave "KFC" into the hair on the back of his head. KFC better watch out... they are treading into PalaceCasino.com territory. Only in America, my friend.

Monday, April 09, 2007

The girls



Just wanted to share this picture from Easter.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Bad Juju

Don't know what it is, but I came to work this morning, and my office equipment is boycotting me. ALL of it. My PC wont connect to my Mac, or the net. My Mac wont run the diagnostic programs I want it to, the DVD Duplicator (which is ususally rock solid) has had to be restarted twice, and created 11 coasters at once. ( The previous 900 copies had no coasters.) The DVD printer, despite saying full on ink, is refusing to print a decent label on my discs. And running the "Clean cartridge" utility 3 times hasnt fixed the situation at all. It's going to be a tough day at work today...

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A pun is a rare medium well-done.

I love puns. The worse they are, the more I love them. Real Groaners.

I did a diorama once of Mattel dolls having a fight in the checkout lane at Safeway. I called it the "Barbie Queue Beef".


There was a monastery that was a little run down, so the brothers decided they'd do a fundraiser to earn some cash to fix it up. After some debate, they finally settled on selling flowers, as it was a nice, peaceful thing to sell. They head out, and set up a stall in the marketplace, and business is going well.

Unfortunately, they were just a few doors down from a flower shop, and the proprietor was just not making any money because of them. Thus, he went to talk to the monks, and asked them to do something else, as his livelihood was being threatened. The brothers refused, stating they'd put everything they had into this venture.

The shopkeeper went home, and called up Hugh McTaggert, the roughest, toughest, meanest thug in town, and paid him to go "talk" to the monks. McTaggert shows up at the monk's flower stall, and proceeds to trash it, beating up several of the brothers while he's at it. When he's done, he says "If you EVER set up a flower stall again, I'll come back, and it'll be worse next time!" The monks scurried back to their monastery and found something else to do.

The moral? Hugh - and only Hugh - can prevent florist friars.

(my personal favorite)
There was a pun contest. The max number of entries was ten. I decided to enter ten puns into the contest. I expected one of the puns to win, but no pun in ten did.

Thanks, goons.