My oldest daughter is no longer in pull-ups. She is also no longer afraid to poop in the toilet. She can do everything on her own now.
My Cat has an automatic litter box. About every other day I just have to empty the container, instead of cleaning the entire cat box.
The back yard is now fenced in, so now I dont have to go walk the dog to do his buisiness, I can just let him outside.
Just when I thought I had all this crap under control, I have a new baby.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
And now, Back to our show...
Sorry for the lack of updates... this past week has been a blur. I haven't even been in the same room as my computer for the past 3 days.
Baby is doing great, getting a routine down, and she is being a very good baby.
Big Sister is doing better, still adjusting to sharing the spotlight when company comes over.
My Beautiful Bride is recovering nicely. Had a high fever, shakes, and very weak on Monday, but a trip to the emergency room fixed all that. She is doing much better now, trying to find some extra time to catch some sleep.
I am doing good. The first night home is always the hardest. But the past 3 nights have gone much better. I am kind of suprised how everything just came back to me. So far, when all else fails, a nice snug swaddling will make baby happy.
Thanks for all the great comments and emails. I am sure Baby news will make it into my posts now and then.
Baby is doing great, getting a routine down, and she is being a very good baby.
Big Sister is doing better, still adjusting to sharing the spotlight when company comes over.
My Beautiful Bride is recovering nicely. Had a high fever, shakes, and very weak on Monday, but a trip to the emergency room fixed all that. She is doing much better now, trying to find some extra time to catch some sleep.
I am doing good. The first night home is always the hardest. But the past 3 nights have gone much better. I am kind of suprised how everything just came back to me. So far, when all else fails, a nice snug swaddling will make baby happy.
Thanks for all the great comments and emails. I am sure Baby news will make it into my posts now and then.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Hellllooooo Baaaay-Bay
For some unknown reason I took a notebook with me on our trip to the hospital. Don’t know what made me do it, but I am glad I did… through out the day, whenever something would happen, I would note the time and jot it down. I have since read it over and over, and what follows is from that note book: (it was very hard for me to NOT do this Jack Bauer style – “the following takes place from 6:00am to 7:00am”)
March 16, 2007 – 5:30am Wake up and make waffles and orange juice with my beautiful bride and my daughter.
6:10 am – My mom arrives at the house. Bless her wonderful heart, got up way early and drove 30 miles to spend the day with my daughter.
6:30 am – My wife and I leave for the hospital. Man, there are a lot of people that go to work at 7am.
7:00 am – Check in with the Maternity Triage. They assign us to room 10 ( the same room we had for our first daughter).
7:45 am – Nurse puts the IV in.
8:15 am – Everything is hooked up and done. Heart rate monitor, contraction monitor, IV, Petocin Drip, big comfy chair for me.
9:00 am – And all is well. A nervous excitement fills the room, and we ( my wife, her mom, Papa Dan, and I) start a “Birth Time” pool. My wife takes 11:00, grandma takes 3:00, Papa Dan lays claim to 6:00, I call 1:40, the nurse throws her name in the hat with 12:00.
9:30 am – Doc comes in and checks on my beautiful bride, we tell him about the pool, (and the $100 entry fee) and he takes 7:00. In hindsight, not really fair, since he his in control of the petocin, and all the crew and equipment.
10:00 am – Everything still going good, Nurse boost the petocin drip a bit.
11:30 am – My wife is starting to feel the contractions a lot more, and getting very uncomfortable.
12:13 pm – 3 nurses BUST open the door, and unplug the “baby station” cords and tubes from the wall, and run out of the room, a lot of commotion coming from the room next door. We would later learn that it was an Amish woman, who had complications beyond what her midwife could handle, and had to be rushed to the hospital. She and the baby are fine.
12:40 pm – My wife finishes off her second cup of ice, and eats the first of sure to be many Popsicles.
1:15 pm – Grandma and Papa Dan leave to grab lunch and run some errands.
1:30 pm – My mom checks in with a report that they are doing great, watched spongebob, played play-doh, went shopping, and my daughter ate all her lunch. They seem to be having a great time together.
1:45 pm – Stadol given, loopy ensues.
2:15 pm – Not much progress, Doc calls checking in, and may come break the water after his clinical rounds are done. We are told that time frame is about a hour and a half, by the nurse.
3:00 pm – My beautiful bride is out like a light. She is very unresponsive, that Stadol is a powerful drug.
3:45 pm – The ghosts of ice chips and Popsicle past come back to visit us. My wife is sick and miserable.
5:00 pm – The worst contraction so far grips my wife. Lots of debate over whether or not she should get an epidural or not.
5:30 pm – Talked with the anesthesiologist for a while, and my beautiful bride and I decide that it would be a good idea.
6:15 pm – Epidural procedure is finished, but not without a few glitches. The anesthesiologist needed three tries before he was satisfied with the results. I sat in front of my wife this time and talked to her and tried to keep her calm through it, the Nurse was a lot better at it than I was. Especially after I caught a glimpse of the blood covered glove and equipment the anesthesiologist had after the 2nd attempt.
6:30 pm – Since my wife can no longer feel anything from the waist down, a catheter is employed to take care of any business it saw fit. Still waiting for Doc to come and break the water, thus setting a record for the longest hour and a half in recorded history.
7:00 pm – 12 hour mark. Shift change for the Nurses, Now playing the roll of Nurse is Julie.
7:30 pm – Doc shows up and breaks the water. I decide to go down to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat.
7:55 pm – My mother in law finds me in the cafeteria, and briefly explains that there is a problem, and I need to come back up. She mentions dropping heart rates, C-Sections, and wrapped cords… my mind only grabs on to the big scary words for some reason.
8:02 pm – When I left for dinner everything was normal. I come back to my wife with an oxygen mask on, a new machine hooked to her, new monitors and sounds, a panicked Nurse, and a worried looking wife. My emotions are sent spinning. The Nurse explains that when my wife has a contraction, the baby's heart rate drops severely. The Doc thinks it may be a cord problem. It may be pinched or wrapped around the baby. A C-Section is becoming a high possibility. The petocin is stopped to slow the contractions.
8:06 pm - I step outside the room when my mom calls in the middle of all of this and lets me know that my daughter wants to talk to me. I hear my favorite sound. I lose it. My emotions get the best of me. I fall against the wall outside the delivery room. I can't talk, I can barely breathe. Some how I manage a "Goodnight, tiny, I love you." My mom then gets on the phone, and some how talks me down from a couple of minutes of being a sobering mess. I start to settle down, and realize that everyone will be ok. C-Sections are a normal thing, and Doc has done 2 of them today. No big deal. Still scares the crap out of me, though.
9:15 pm - Petocin drip is restarted to see how the baby will react, and to determine if a C-Section is necessary. If not, it looks like it is going to be a long night, as my beautiful bride isn't progressing very fast in the dilation department.
10:00 pm - My wife is asleep. I need to but I can't think about anything but the heart rate/contraction monitor. 3 minutes apart, and the baby's heart rate drops from 130 to 80 during each. I hold my breath each time waiting for it to go back up. I cannot move my focus from those monitors.
Pretty sure Doc has gone home for some rest, so the situation must not be as bad as I pictured it in my head when I came back from dinner.
10:43 ( My first daughter's birth time) The baby's heart rate drops below 60 on a couple of contractions. Doc calls from home (he can monitor patients from his computer at home, how freakin' Awesome is that!) and recommends an Amnio Infusion. Which instantly becomes the name of my new ABBA cover band.
RANDOM THOUGHT: When did "Crocs" become standard hospital attire. EVERY nurse that comes in has them on.
11:10 pm - Getting exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I don't know how my beautiful bride is going to have the energy to push when the time comes.
11:30 pm - Things are getting back to normal. The Amnio Infusion has "lifted" the baby off the cord and lots of big contractions are happening. The baby's heart rate is dipping a bit,
nothing as severe as before, but she is recovering well from them. Nurse encouraged both of us to try and sleep a bit.
March 16th, 2007
12:10 am - I can't sleep. My legs ache to the point of tingling. Mostly from standing for the past 18 hours. I still cannot look away from the HR/Contraction monitor. 3 minutes apart. Heart rate still dipping, but nothing to near what it was before.
12:15 am - Nurse checks the cervix, and my beautiful bride is nearly fully dilated. We may be getting close. The baby has moved down quite a bit. Nurse gives the dilation a 9. ( Russian judge only gave it a 8.5)
12:30 am - 9.5 cm! Baby's irregular heart rate brought Nurse back in to recheck. My wife is starting to feel more pressure.
1:15 am - Lots of people (with Crocs) move equipment into the room, and start laying out various tables full of tools and instruments. Nurse pushes a couple of buttons and the bed goes from happy mode, to prepare for battle mode. She checks the dilation again and says to push a couple of times, and one big Stop pushing. She hustles out of the room quickly.
1:20 am - 2 1000 watt lights focus their power on my baby's front door, and Doc strolls in. They gown him up, and he takes a look. He pulls back my wife's gown and says, " Wow, Look at all that hair." I immediately think, "That was inappropriate! That's my wife, you sonofabitch!", then I look where he was looking and see the top of my baby's head, and I think "Wow! Look at all that hair!"
1:33 am - After what could have only been about 10 pushes by my beautiful bride, Baby Violet is born. She is beautiful, and covered in cottage cheese. They towel her off a bit, and Doc clears her mouth and nose out a bit. A couple of clamps go on the cord, and they hand me some scissors. I make the same joke I did last time, asking "if there is anyone more qualified than me to do this?" I get a big poke in the ribs from my wife. I cut the cord. Which has a lot more resistance than I was expecting. My wife gets the rest of the business done, and baby is taken to a cleaning station across the room. I proceed to Brag about my 1:40 prediction. But am quickly met with some "am/pm" scandal talk.
1:48 am - Violet weighs 8 lbs. 5 oz. I smile and comment that 8/5 is my birthday. I love number coincidence. Our first daughter was 7 lbs. 7 oz. My wife's, mom's, mom in-law's birthdays, and our anniversary are all on the 7th.
1:52 am - I hold my new daughter for the first time. Her face is nearly a perfect circle. She has the cutest little nose, and a sweet pout on her face.
2:05 am - Everything is cleaned and removed from the room. Baby and Mom celebrate with some breast milk for about 30 minutes. Baby is whisked away to the nursery for a bath, and stuff.
3:30 am - My beautiful bride is moved to a recovery room. I give her a big kiss, and thank her for such wonderful family. I drive home.
4:00 am - I get home, and kiss my other daughter on the forehead and tuck her in. I check on my parents who have taken over my bed, and are sound asleep from a day of chasing a 3 year old. I grab a pillow, and a blanket, and pass out on the couch.
Violet Louise
8 lbs. 5 oz. - 21 inches
Born March 16th 1:33am.
March 16, 2007 – 5:30am Wake up and make waffles and orange juice with my beautiful bride and my daughter.
6:10 am – My mom arrives at the house. Bless her wonderful heart, got up way early and drove 30 miles to spend the day with my daughter.
6:30 am – My wife and I leave for the hospital. Man, there are a lot of people that go to work at 7am.
7:00 am – Check in with the Maternity Triage. They assign us to room 10 ( the same room we had for our first daughter).
7:45 am – Nurse puts the IV in.
8:15 am – Everything is hooked up and done. Heart rate monitor, contraction monitor, IV, Petocin Drip, big comfy chair for me.
9:00 am – And all is well. A nervous excitement fills the room, and we ( my wife, her mom, Papa Dan, and I) start a “Birth Time” pool. My wife takes 11:00, grandma takes 3:00, Papa Dan lays claim to 6:00, I call 1:40, the nurse throws her name in the hat with 12:00.
9:30 am – Doc comes in and checks on my beautiful bride, we tell him about the pool, (and the $100 entry fee) and he takes 7:00. In hindsight, not really fair, since he his in control of the petocin, and all the crew and equipment.
10:00 am – Everything still going good, Nurse boost the petocin drip a bit.
11:30 am – My wife is starting to feel the contractions a lot more, and getting very uncomfortable.
12:13 pm – 3 nurses BUST open the door, and unplug the “baby station” cords and tubes from the wall, and run out of the room, a lot of commotion coming from the room next door. We would later learn that it was an Amish woman, who had complications beyond what her midwife could handle, and had to be rushed to the hospital. She and the baby are fine.
12:40 pm – My wife finishes off her second cup of ice, and eats the first of sure to be many Popsicles.
1:15 pm – Grandma and Papa Dan leave to grab lunch and run some errands.
1:30 pm – My mom checks in with a report that they are doing great, watched spongebob, played play-doh, went shopping, and my daughter ate all her lunch. They seem to be having a great time together.
1:45 pm – Stadol given, loopy ensues.
2:15 pm – Not much progress, Doc calls checking in, and may come break the water after his clinical rounds are done. We are told that time frame is about a hour and a half, by the nurse.
3:00 pm – My beautiful bride is out like a light. She is very unresponsive, that Stadol is a powerful drug.
3:45 pm – The ghosts of ice chips and Popsicle past come back to visit us. My wife is sick and miserable.
5:00 pm – The worst contraction so far grips my wife. Lots of debate over whether or not she should get an epidural or not.
5:30 pm – Talked with the anesthesiologist for a while, and my beautiful bride and I decide that it would be a good idea.
6:15 pm – Epidural procedure is finished, but not without a few glitches. The anesthesiologist needed three tries before he was satisfied with the results. I sat in front of my wife this time and talked to her and tried to keep her calm through it, the Nurse was a lot better at it than I was. Especially after I caught a glimpse of the blood covered glove and equipment the anesthesiologist had after the 2nd attempt.
6:30 pm – Since my wife can no longer feel anything from the waist down, a catheter is employed to take care of any business it saw fit. Still waiting for Doc to come and break the water, thus setting a record for the longest hour and a half in recorded history.
7:00 pm – 12 hour mark. Shift change for the Nurses, Now playing the roll of Nurse is Julie.
7:30 pm – Doc shows up and breaks the water. I decide to go down to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat.
7:55 pm – My mother in law finds me in the cafeteria, and briefly explains that there is a problem, and I need to come back up. She mentions dropping heart rates, C-Sections, and wrapped cords… my mind only grabs on to the big scary words for some reason.
8:02 pm – When I left for dinner everything was normal. I come back to my wife with an oxygen mask on, a new machine hooked to her, new monitors and sounds, a panicked Nurse, and a worried looking wife. My emotions are sent spinning. The Nurse explains that when my wife has a contraction, the baby's heart rate drops severely. The Doc thinks it may be a cord problem. It may be pinched or wrapped around the baby. A C-Section is becoming a high possibility. The petocin is stopped to slow the contractions.
8:06 pm - I step outside the room when my mom calls in the middle of all of this and lets me know that my daughter wants to talk to me. I hear my favorite sound. I lose it. My emotions get the best of me. I fall against the wall outside the delivery room. I can't talk, I can barely breathe. Some how I manage a "Goodnight, tiny, I love you." My mom then gets on the phone, and some how talks me down from a couple of minutes of being a sobering mess. I start to settle down, and realize that everyone will be ok. C-Sections are a normal thing, and Doc has done 2 of them today. No big deal. Still scares the crap out of me, though.
9:15 pm - Petocin drip is restarted to see how the baby will react, and to determine if a C-Section is necessary. If not, it looks like it is going to be a long night, as my beautiful bride isn't progressing very fast in the dilation department.
10:00 pm - My wife is asleep. I need to but I can't think about anything but the heart rate/contraction monitor. 3 minutes apart, and the baby's heart rate drops from 130 to 80 during each. I hold my breath each time waiting for it to go back up. I cannot move my focus from those monitors.
Pretty sure Doc has gone home for some rest, so the situation must not be as bad as I pictured it in my head when I came back from dinner.
10:43 ( My first daughter's birth time) The baby's heart rate drops below 60 on a couple of contractions. Doc calls from home (he can monitor patients from his computer at home, how freakin' Awesome is that!) and recommends an Amnio Infusion. Which instantly becomes the name of my new ABBA cover band.
RANDOM THOUGHT: When did "Crocs" become standard hospital attire. EVERY nurse that comes in has them on.
11:10 pm - Getting exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I don't know how my beautiful bride is going to have the energy to push when the time comes.
11:30 pm - Things are getting back to normal. The Amnio Infusion has "lifted" the baby off the cord and lots of big contractions are happening. The baby's heart rate is dipping a bit,
nothing as severe as before, but she is recovering well from them. Nurse encouraged both of us to try and sleep a bit.
March 16th, 2007
12:10 am - I can't sleep. My legs ache to the point of tingling. Mostly from standing for the past 18 hours. I still cannot look away from the HR/Contraction monitor. 3 minutes apart. Heart rate still dipping, but nothing to near what it was before.
12:15 am - Nurse checks the cervix, and my beautiful bride is nearly fully dilated. We may be getting close. The baby has moved down quite a bit. Nurse gives the dilation a 9. ( Russian judge only gave it a 8.5)
12:30 am - 9.5 cm! Baby's irregular heart rate brought Nurse back in to recheck. My wife is starting to feel more pressure.
1:15 am - Lots of people (with Crocs) move equipment into the room, and start laying out various tables full of tools and instruments. Nurse pushes a couple of buttons and the bed goes from happy mode, to prepare for battle mode. She checks the dilation again and says to push a couple of times, and one big Stop pushing. She hustles out of the room quickly.
1:20 am - 2 1000 watt lights focus their power on my baby's front door, and Doc strolls in. They gown him up, and he takes a look. He pulls back my wife's gown and says, " Wow, Look at all that hair." I immediately think, "That was inappropriate! That's my wife, you sonofabitch!", then I look where he was looking and see the top of my baby's head, and I think "Wow! Look at all that hair!"
1:33 am - After what could have only been about 10 pushes by my beautiful bride, Baby Violet is born. She is beautiful, and covered in cottage cheese. They towel her off a bit, and Doc clears her mouth and nose out a bit. A couple of clamps go on the cord, and they hand me some scissors. I make the same joke I did last time, asking "if there is anyone more qualified than me to do this?" I get a big poke in the ribs from my wife. I cut the cord. Which has a lot more resistance than I was expecting. My wife gets the rest of the business done, and baby is taken to a cleaning station across the room. I proceed to Brag about my 1:40 prediction. But am quickly met with some "am/pm" scandal talk.
1:48 am - Violet weighs 8 lbs. 5 oz. I smile and comment that 8/5 is my birthday. I love number coincidence. Our first daughter was 7 lbs. 7 oz. My wife's, mom's, mom in-law's birthdays, and our anniversary are all on the 7th.
1:52 am - I hold my new daughter for the first time. Her face is nearly a perfect circle. She has the cutest little nose, and a sweet pout on her face.
2:05 am - Everything is cleaned and removed from the room. Baby and Mom celebrate with some breast milk for about 30 minutes. Baby is whisked away to the nursery for a bath, and stuff.
3:30 am - My beautiful bride is moved to a recovery room. I give her a big kiss, and thank her for such wonderful family. I drive home.
4:00 am - I get home, and kiss my other daughter on the forehead and tuck her in. I check on my parents who have taken over my bed, and are sound asleep from a day of chasing a 3 year old. I grab a pillow, and a blanket, and pass out on the couch.
Violet Louise8 lbs. 5 oz. - 21 inches
Born March 16th 1:33am.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Your WHAT came out?
Words I never want to hear again (let alone, say to my boss as to why I had to leave work an hour early yesterday) : "Mucus Plug".
Still no baby. My beautiful bride had a doctors appointment today, only to have it pushed back 3 hours because, he is delivering a baby. I believe this pushed my wife past being mad, and closer to Bruce Banner Angry. And, Doc, you wouldn't like her when she's angry.
Still no baby. My beautiful bride had a doctors appointment today, only to have it pushed back 3 hours because, he is delivering a baby. I believe this pushed my wife past being mad, and closer to Bruce Banner Angry. And, Doc, you wouldn't like her when she's angry.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Weekend Rollercoaster
Wow! What a crazy weekend.
Friday- My beautiful bride and I dropped our daughter off at Grandma's, as we had plans for a romantic evening of Mexican food, and Bloody, Stylistic Spartan Warfare. We finished our wonderful meal, and headed to the the theater. We arrived to the largest crowd I have ever seen at this particular complex. People were literally lined AROUND the building, to get in... all showings of our movie were sold out. We then head across town to the theater that (we feel) is twice as big, but half as good. The situation there is even worse. You can't even get into the parking lot. We finally manage to get close to the box office and EVERY showing is sold out. 7:30, 8:50, 10:00, 11:30. I honestly haven't seen that many people at that theater since I saw Brad Pitt do a Screening of "Meet Joe Black" there. With our Spartan dreams dashed we head home, pick up our daughter, and are met with a nice consolation prize at home, in the form of "The Prestige" via NetFlix. It was very good, with alot of twists and surprises. And for the record, any movie that has a David Bowie cameo, is a good thing.
Saturday - I can barely remember anything I did Saturday. Besides walking the mall with my very pregnant beautiful wife. And getting a phone call from my college roommate, saying that he and some friends are going to enjoy some Spartan Warfare on Sunday. After that, they were going to the movies and wanted to know if I would be interested. My bride and I talked with our neighbors for a bit, and their oldest daughter said she would babysit for us while we went to watch Greece battle Persia.
Sunday - Cleaned the house, bought some snacks, and watched 117 minutes of PURE AWESOME! I had read some reviews, and the only complaints I had seen were about plot, and story shallowness. Um... Mr. SnootyMovieReviewer... if you are going to this movie for the plot, or storyline... KILL YOURSELF! The way Frank Miller turns a violent bloody battle scene into a beautiful crafted visual buffet is amazing. I read another review, where it was stated that the movie is called "300" because that's how many stars it should get, but instead, the reviewer can only use 4. The theater was crowded, but not too bad. The sound was turned up just a bit too loud, which just made watching this movie only better. It is definitely one of those films you have to see on the "Big Screen". I hear it is playing that the IMAX, I may have to check that out. I left the movie, thinking I need to do more crunches though.
Monday - 1:50 am... I wake to the sound of my beautiful bride moaning in pain. 5 minutes later, it happens again. Then another 5 minutes pass, and more pain. After about 6 of those, and the pain getting worse, I make the Patriarchal decision to drive 85 miles an hour. I get my bride in the emergency room entrance, grab my very excited 3-year old and head to the maternity check in. AND....... 2 hours later they send us home. False alarm. I put Dr. Braxton Hicks' ass on my list of things to kick, and head home. Sleep for one hour, and then add my alarm clock's ass to the list. So if you see me today, never mind the thing dragging behind me... its my ass.
EDIT: Add also to that list, the couple that brought their 7 and 8 year old kids to see the movie, and Bob and Sally Moron with their 1 year old.
Friday- My beautiful bride and I dropped our daughter off at Grandma's, as we had plans for a romantic evening of Mexican food, and Bloody, Stylistic Spartan Warfare. We finished our wonderful meal, and headed to the the theater. We arrived to the largest crowd I have ever seen at this particular complex. People were literally lined AROUND the building, to get in... all showings of our movie were sold out. We then head across town to the theater that (we feel) is twice as big, but half as good. The situation there is even worse. You can't even get into the parking lot. We finally manage to get close to the box office and EVERY showing is sold out. 7:30, 8:50, 10:00, 11:30. I honestly haven't seen that many people at that theater since I saw Brad Pitt do a Screening of "Meet Joe Black" there. With our Spartan dreams dashed we head home, pick up our daughter, and are met with a nice consolation prize at home, in the form of "The Prestige" via NetFlix. It was very good, with alot of twists and surprises. And for the record, any movie that has a David Bowie cameo, is a good thing.
Saturday - I can barely remember anything I did Saturday. Besides walking the mall with my very pregnant beautiful wife. And getting a phone call from my college roommate, saying that he and some friends are going to enjoy some Spartan Warfare on Sunday. After that, they were going to the movies and wanted to know if I would be interested. My bride and I talked with our neighbors for a bit, and their oldest daughter said she would babysit for us while we went to watch Greece battle Persia.
Sunday - Cleaned the house, bought some snacks, and watched 117 minutes of PURE AWESOME! I had read some reviews, and the only complaints I had seen were about plot, and story shallowness. Um... Mr. SnootyMovieReviewer... if you are going to this movie for the plot, or storyline... KILL YOURSELF! The way Frank Miller turns a violent bloody battle scene into a beautiful crafted visual buffet is amazing. I read another review, where it was stated that the movie is called "300" because that's how many stars it should get, but instead, the reviewer can only use 4. The theater was crowded, but not too bad. The sound was turned up just a bit too loud, which just made watching this movie only better. It is definitely one of those films you have to see on the "Big Screen". I hear it is playing that the IMAX, I may have to check that out. I left the movie, thinking I need to do more crunches though.
Monday - 1:50 am... I wake to the sound of my beautiful bride moaning in pain. 5 minutes later, it happens again. Then another 5 minutes pass, and more pain. After about 6 of those, and the pain getting worse, I make the Patriarchal decision to drive 85 miles an hour. I get my bride in the emergency room entrance, grab my very excited 3-year old and head to the maternity check in. AND....... 2 hours later they send us home. False alarm. I put Dr. Braxton Hicks' ass on my list of things to kick, and head home. Sleep for one hour, and then add my alarm clock's ass to the list. So if you see me today, never mind the thing dragging behind me... its my ass.
EDIT: Add also to that list, the couple that brought their 7 and 8 year old kids to see the movie, and Bob and Sally Moron with their 1 year old.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Anything + Ninjas = AWESOME!
Every morning before taking my daughter to pre-school, we watch "Funny Shows" on the computer. This is her term for anything I think is appropriate on YouTube or Google Video. I found this one and just cannot stop watching it.
It is a clip from a Japanese Kids show called "Pythagoras Switch".
I think its very cool how it all works together with more people. Now, I get that song stuck in my head. And my daughter digs the Ninjas, I must admit, I do too.
Here is another great clip of Rube Goldberg type machines from the same show.
The ANNOYING phrase they keep saying over and over is the name of the show. That clip is a compilation of a bunch of different parts of various shows, they don't run them back to back like that for nine minutes... thats enough to make anyone hire a pack of ninjas.
It is a clip from a Japanese Kids show called "Pythagoras Switch".
I think its very cool how it all works together with more people. Now, I get that song stuck in my head. And my daughter digs the Ninjas, I must admit, I do too.
Here is another great clip of Rube Goldberg type machines from the same show.
The ANNOYING phrase they keep saying over and over is the name of the show. That clip is a compilation of a bunch of different parts of various shows, they don't run them back to back like that for nine minutes... thats enough to make anyone hire a pack of ninjas.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Trivial Pursuit
In digging through the Internets today, I found this little bit of.... well, trivia.
In medieval times, education was divided into 7 categories. Arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy (the sciences); logic, rhetoric, and grammer (liberal arts). The four sciences were known in Latin as the quadrivium, meaning the four ways. The group of 3 liberal arts studies were called the trivium. Anything learned on these subjects was trivial.
It's stuff like this that takes up the other 95% or my brain that I am not using.
In medieval times, education was divided into 7 categories. Arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy (the sciences); logic, rhetoric, and grammer (liberal arts). The four sciences were known in Latin as the quadrivium, meaning the four ways. The group of 3 liberal arts studies were called the trivium. Anything learned on these subjects was trivial.
It's stuff like this that takes up the other 95% or my brain that I am not using.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Bermuda Rectangle
There is a new force in the universe, something that I mistook as the fault of man. I have found this to not be the case.
First, I must apologize to the Problem Passat Parker. Apparently, I took the easy way out and blamed what I thought was human error. There are much larger forces at work in the parking lot. Today, when I got to work, my mind was sent reeling. The spot that is usually taken by the VW, was occupied by a large SUV, but that SUV was NOT inside the parking space! It NEVER occurred to me, that the parking space itself could be at fault! It is truly a mystery of space. An unexplainable phenomenon, that is out of human hands.
I know in the future, I will not even be WALKING through this ripple in the "parking space/time continuum".
First, I must apologize to the Problem Passat Parker. Apparently, I took the easy way out and blamed what I thought was human error. There are much larger forces at work in the parking lot. Today, when I got to work, my mind was sent reeling. The spot that is usually taken by the VW, was occupied by a large SUV, but that SUV was NOT inside the parking space! It NEVER occurred to me, that the parking space itself could be at fault! It is truly a mystery of space. An unexplainable phenomenon, that is out of human hands.
I know in the future, I will not even be WALKING through this ripple in the "parking space/time continuum".
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Funny Jokes
My daughter has found the perfect equation ( in her mind ) for the funniest knock-knock joke.
It goes as follows:
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Chocolate (insert random thing 1 here)"
"Chocolate (random thing) who?"
(loudly)" FROM (insert random thing/place 2 here)!"
Laugh hysterically, then instruct others around you to laugh.
Some of her better combinations are:
Thing 1----------Thing/Place 2
Eyeball----------Texas
Blue (our dog)--Bananas
Underwear------TV
Try 'em yourself.
Every one of her Knock, knock jokes involve Chocolate something, from something/somewhere. It's very funny around the 5th or 6th one, when she is looking around the room trying to find what "Thing/Place 2" could be.
She will be here all week, be sure to tip your Waitress, and try the Chocolate Veal.
It goes as follows:
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Chocolate (insert random thing 1 here)"
"Chocolate (random thing) who?"
(loudly)" FROM (insert random thing/place 2 here)!"
Laugh hysterically, then instruct others around you to laugh.
Some of her better combinations are:
Thing 1----------Thing/Place 2
Eyeball----------Texas
Blue (our dog)--Bananas
Underwear------TV
Try 'em yourself.
Every one of her Knock, knock jokes involve Chocolate something, from something/somewhere. It's very funny around the 5th or 6th one, when she is looking around the room trying to find what "Thing/Place 2" could be.
She will be here all week, be sure to tip your Waitress, and try the Chocolate Veal.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Odd Motto
While driving to Country Music Hell yesterday, I read one of the 1000 billboards on the way, and it struck me as strange. A show was advertising what they called "Show-stopping Entertainment." Hmmm... Is the show really so entertaining, that it stops itself?? Seems kind of counter productive.
"Hey BillyBobJimBo, You are best be backin' off yer fiddle playin' a bit. Yer gunna stop this here show!"
Or do they have an act that is literally a Show Stopper. I mean besides the "scheduled" last act. People come in expecting two hours of Hillbilly Funk, and only get one hour. Because half way through, BettyJo's Cloggin' number sends the crowd into such a Blue Haired Frenzy, that they are forced to stop the show???
"Hey BillyBobJimBo, You are best be backin' off yer fiddle playin' a bit. Yer gunna stop this here show!"
Or do they have an act that is literally a Show Stopper. I mean besides the "scheduled" last act. People come in expecting two hours of Hillbilly Funk, and only get one hour. Because half way through, BettyJo's Cloggin' number sends the crowd into such a Blue Haired Frenzy, that they are forced to stop the show???
Road Rage
I witnessed something the other day that kind of shocked me. I was driving home from work and came to a fairly major intersection of two highways. I noticed 2 cars parked just past the exit ramp on the other lane of traffic. Obviously, a minor accident had occurred. I couldn't see any damage to either car. While driving past this scene, I see both drivers get out of their cars, one is about mid-40's, the other, in his 20's, and walk toward each other. I watch as the 20 something appears to be apologizing, hand on his forehead, other hand out in front of him. The 40-year-old makes the international symbol for "Dude, WTF?". He then drops his arms and delivers a right hook to the younger guys face, dropping him to the ground, on his back. The kid is SHOCKED! And then tries to defend himself a bit. The best way you can when you are lying 5 feet from passing traffic, and 2 feet from a crazed man.
All of that happened in the span of 10 seconds I would guess. Traffic was trying to stop all around them, and I had no way to turn around for another mile. So, grab my phone and called 911. The operator picks up, and I describe what just happened, but for some reason I was connected with a different counties 911 dispatch, they connect me with the correct one. I relay my message, and am told that Police are on their way. Apparently, other people had called and reported in the time I took to transfer me. I asked if I should turn around, and give a statement to police, and dispatch said that they had my number and would pass it along to the authorities, and they would contact me if necessary.
No real point to this post, except that it's something I have never seen before. I have been in my fair share of fender benders, but NEVER once have I had the urge to fly out of my car and start wailing on the other driver. I mean, seriously?!? How wound up do you have to be to just snap like that. That's just crazy.
All of that happened in the span of 10 seconds I would guess. Traffic was trying to stop all around them, and I had no way to turn around for another mile. So, grab my phone and called 911. The operator picks up, and I describe what just happened, but for some reason I was connected with a different counties 911 dispatch, they connect me with the correct one. I relay my message, and am told that Police are on their way. Apparently, other people had called and reported in the time I took to transfer me. I asked if I should turn around, and give a statement to police, and dispatch said that they had my number and would pass it along to the authorities, and they would contact me if necessary.
No real point to this post, except that it's something I have never seen before. I have been in my fair share of fender benders, but NEVER once have I had the urge to fly out of my car and start wailing on the other driver. I mean, seriously?!? How wound up do you have to be to just snap like that. That's just crazy.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Let me go wild...
I was born in 1970. Using simple math, that means I went from being 10 years old to 20 years old during the 80's. Think about the differences in those 2 ages for a second. The difference between a 5th grader and a Junior in College. So, its no wonder that my DEEP love for Punk, Ska, and Alternative Music is part of who I am now... Ah... Dead Kennedys, Fishbone, They Might Be Giants, The Dead Milkmen, The Specials..... LOVE IT!
But last night, while watching TV, it hit me... I am a target now. An Advertising Target. While watching Jack Bauer, something horrible happend... my ears were treated with a wonderful snippet from Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes. But my eyes were seeing a Burger King commercial. What?! Had my brain finally snapped? Did some neurons get fired in the wrong direction? Confusion filled my skull. Happy wonderful music, bringing back memories of concerts in dive bars in St. Loius, mixed with the over whelming urge for a Whopper! and a silly (but fun) hat. Then, in a flash, it was over.
I had a wave of sorrow wash across my body, and then another. The first wave was the self-realization, that I am now a target demographic, 30-45 year old Adult. Somthing that all of the above bands made me rebel against. The second, more depressing wave, was that I now would have to call one of my all-time favorite bands a sell out. Puppets of the Corporate dollar. I hadn't fell this bad since I heard about Devo 2.0. (FYI, if you are a DEVO fan AT ALL, even just a little bit. Do not google Devo 2.0. You don't want to know... you really don't. Gerald Casale still owes me a written apology, for allowing that travesty to spawn.) My musical youth is being twisted into something horrible and is being used against me. Why, oh why???
Now if you will excuse me, I gotta go put on my checkered shirt, and my parachute pants now.
But last night, while watching TV, it hit me... I am a target now. An Advertising Target. While watching Jack Bauer, something horrible happend... my ears were treated with a wonderful snippet from Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes. But my eyes were seeing a Burger King commercial. What?! Had my brain finally snapped? Did some neurons get fired in the wrong direction? Confusion filled my skull. Happy wonderful music, bringing back memories of concerts in dive bars in St. Loius, mixed with the over whelming urge for a Whopper! and a silly (but fun) hat. Then, in a flash, it was over.
I had a wave of sorrow wash across my body, and then another. The first wave was the self-realization, that I am now a target demographic, 30-45 year old Adult. Somthing that all of the above bands made me rebel against. The second, more depressing wave, was that I now would have to call one of my all-time favorite bands a sell out. Puppets of the Corporate dollar. I hadn't fell this bad since I heard about Devo 2.0. (FYI, if you are a DEVO fan AT ALL, even just a little bit. Do not google Devo 2.0. You don't want to know... you really don't. Gerald Casale still owes me a written apology, for allowing that travesty to spawn.) My musical youth is being twisted into something horrible and is being used against me. Why, oh why???
Now if you will excuse me, I gotta go put on my checkered shirt, and my parachute pants now.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Bad Idea
If you run a company from your home, and advertise it on a personal vehicle that you drive around town- DON'T DRIVE LIKE A MORON! Don't drive 75 in a 60, and then cut across 2 lanes to make an exit ramp at the last second.
This post brought to you by the fine people at "Pure Water" (417) 581-8657.
This post brought to you by the fine people at "Pure Water" (417) 581-8657.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Cereal Killa
"Fruity Cheerios are little rings in several different colors. They look suspiciously familiar. The front of the box makes this declarative statement: "25% less sugar than the leading fruity cereal." And I'm thinking: Oh, SNAP, Froot Loops! They totally just called you out! What a passive-aggressive slogan! It's like, "We're not naming any names here, but, um, we have 25 percent less sugar than a certain other fruity cereal we could mention. We're just sayin'." And the people at Kellogg's are like, "B****es did NOT just diss us!" And General Mills is all, "Don't be hatin', we just keepin' it real," and Kellogg's is like, "Whateva. Maybe if you put MORE sugar if yo nasty-a** fruity cereal, people might be BUYIN' it," and then Post is totally on the floor laughing, and General Mills is like, "Whatchoo laughin' at, Fruity Pebbles? Ain't you got some Flintstones to go be watchin'?," and then Quaker Oats pulls out a gun." -- EricDSnider
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Candy Quirks
I have a few traditions when I eat certain candy. Various rituals, and methods have to be followed during consumption. Of course, this all depends on the candy I am eating. The people that witness these events usually stop and watch with some 'This guy is kinda weird' look on their faces.
I will share some of them with you now...
Runts - they are first sorted by color, and then consumed from least favorite flavor to favorite. ( Lime, Strawberry, Orange, Cherry, Banana. It used to end there but they added a Blue one, blue raspberry I guess, and it now holds the coveted 'last candy to be consumed' position).
Kit Kat - The bar is broken into the four strips, and then the chocolate is eaten from around the edges of the strip. Then, the strip is pulled apart into the 3 wafers that make up the remaining part of the strip. These wafers are eaten then in the following order: middle, bottom, top. Then on to the next strip. (this one freaks my beautiful bride out the most)
Snickers - I will eat the nougat part first, then the rest.
Whoppers/Malt Balls - This one is strange, and kinda hard to explain. Basically I bite through the chocolate, all the way around the Whopper. Imagine an equator around the candy all the way down to the malt. Then, one of the chocolate hemispheres is stripped away and eaten, leaving a full sphere of malt in a half sphere of chocolate. That is then sucked on, until the malt has dissolved, and then remaining chocolate shell is consumed.
Peanut M&M's - These are consumed kind of like the Whoppers. I break the candy apart in my mouth, separating the M&M part from the peanut. The M&M part is eaten while the peanut hides out in my cheek until I am done, then it gets what it deserves.
Regular M&M's - These have the most elaborate system of all... It is a site to behold, really. First, the entire bag is pour out. Then they are sorted by color. The colors are then arranged by number in the group, which ever color has more members, is positioned first. The color with the fewest is then lined up in a row. The next group is then lined up next to it in the gaps (reducing the space between the rows). But only enough to extend past the first row. Like, if the red row is first, and has 5, the next row will have 6. This process is then continued until all colors are lined up. This usually leaves some strays, and they are consumed at this time. The remaining are eaten one at a time, starting with one from the longest row. Then one from the next color up, and so on. Eventually, I am left with a triangle. 1 at the top, and 6 at the bottom. They then get eaten by taking the left most side off of the triangle(1 of each color) and eating those all at once.
I don't know why I do this, I am sure my college roommate with his Masters in Psychology would offer me some explanations. They are just things I have done since I was a kid, and being a 12-year-old at heart still, that how I still do it.
I remember reading a story about how someone else eats their M&M's, I thought it was very funny... So I found it, and will pass it along here.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
Some one lend me 50 cents... I need a fix after writing all of this down.
I will share some of them with you now...
Runts - they are first sorted by color, and then consumed from least favorite flavor to favorite. ( Lime, Strawberry, Orange, Cherry, Banana. It used to end there but they added a Blue one, blue raspberry I guess, and it now holds the coveted 'last candy to be consumed' position).
Kit Kat - The bar is broken into the four strips, and then the chocolate is eaten from around the edges of the strip. Then, the strip is pulled apart into the 3 wafers that make up the remaining part of the strip. These wafers are eaten then in the following order: middle, bottom, top. Then on to the next strip. (this one freaks my beautiful bride out the most)
Snickers - I will eat the nougat part first, then the rest.
Whoppers/Malt Balls - This one is strange, and kinda hard to explain. Basically I bite through the chocolate, all the way around the Whopper. Imagine an equator around the candy all the way down to the malt. Then, one of the chocolate hemispheres is stripped away and eaten, leaving a full sphere of malt in a half sphere of chocolate. That is then sucked on, until the malt has dissolved, and then remaining chocolate shell is consumed.
Peanut M&M's - These are consumed kind of like the Whoppers. I break the candy apart in my mouth, separating the M&M part from the peanut. The M&M part is eaten while the peanut hides out in my cheek until I am done, then it gets what it deserves.
Regular M&M's - These have the most elaborate system of all... It is a site to behold, really. First, the entire bag is pour out. Then they are sorted by color. The colors are then arranged by number in the group, which ever color has more members, is positioned first. The color with the fewest is then lined up in a row. The next group is then lined up next to it in the gaps (reducing the space between the rows). But only enough to extend past the first row. Like, if the red row is first, and has 5, the next row will have 6. This process is then continued until all colors are lined up. This usually leaves some strays, and they are consumed at this time. The remaining are eaten one at a time, starting with one from the longest row. Then one from the next color up, and so on. Eventually, I am left with a triangle. 1 at the top, and 6 at the bottom. They then get eaten by taking the left most side off of the triangle(1 of each color) and eating those all at once.
I don't know why I do this, I am sure my college roommate with his Masters in Psychology would offer me some explanations. They are just things I have done since I was a kid, and being a 12-year-old at heart still, that how I still do it.
I remember reading a story about how someone else eats their M&M's, I thought it was very funny... So I found it, and will pass it along here.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
Some one lend me 50 cents... I need a fix after writing all of this down.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Naming Conventions
On the south side of the town I live is a fairly new restaurant, called "Tasia". They get the name from their tag line - Taste of Asia. It's got some very good food. I just hope they don't branch out to new restaurants with other types of cuisine, because I don't care how good their food is... I am not eating at "Texico".
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
We have a Winner...
Ok, my new rule in designing logos for my company: When all else fails, add a car part.
Ladies and Gents, I give you the final approved logo...
Ladies and Gents, I give you the final approved logo...
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Logo Hell
This weekend is my company's Annual Managers' Conference. I usually do alot of graphics here and there for people, and make animations for others. None of it is really that difficult, just time consuming. Ok, let me rephrase that, the Leprechaun animations are difficult, but the stuff I do for other people isn't too bad. But there is one logo that is killing me.
Here is the first one I made:
It got little to no reaction.
Second one:
It got some reaction, but more of a "I don't know what I want it to look like, but that's not what I was thinking." I got a note that it needs to say "The Main Thing".
So, in between doing all my other stuff I come up with this one:
Which is my favorite. Simple, good shape, very versatile. They are still not crazy about it. So, now I am basically starting over.
Here is the first one I made:
It got little to no reaction.Second one:
It got some reaction, but more of a "I don't know what I want it to look like, but that's not what I was thinking." I got a note that it needs to say "The Main Thing".So, in between doing all my other stuff I come up with this one:
Which is my favorite. Simple, good shape, very versatile. They are still not crazy about it. So, now I am basically starting over.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)